Other coaches, how do I deal with a child who has behavioral issues in class?

[hakunamatata]

I teach a few different gymnastics classes at a recreational gym. I LOVE teaching the older kids (most of them are around 9 and 10) who really have an interest in gymnastics. They're great kids, and I feel confident teaching them what I know best. The 5-year-old class, however, I am incredibly uncomfortable in. They're not focused much on serious gymnastics (some of them can't even do a cartwheel), they just want to have fun and run around and have a good social experience, which is fine, but they definitely don't want to pay attention to instruction either when they have so much fun equipment to play on.

There is one girl who has been causing me so many problems to the point where I actually just want to quit. I can't believe I'm intimidated by a 5-year-old, but this girl is incredibly manipulative. She fakes injuries for attention. She purposefully distracts other girls in the class and acts out to make me look bad when my boss is watching. She's never listening to instruction. I know she just wants the attention so part of me thinks it might be best just to ignore her, but then she's distracting the other kids and pretty soon I have no control whatsoever.

Anyone have any suggestions? Sorry for the length of the post, but I could really use advice.

 

[gymnut1]

first of all you say they are 5 and it is a rec class. I would be impressed if any of them could do a cartwheel!

First you need to control wayward kid. Then you can teach everyone else once you have her sorted. I would keep her right next to me all through class if you can. She will distract the others less if you are right there. Try to go to the other children and then return to near her. Try to praise and correct the other children verbally from your place by her. Proximity control is very good for this age. I would look for things to praise every time you return. But in a teacher like business like way not a friend / mummy like way. Make her your special helper to carry your clipboard/ lesson plans / etc. Use her as your demonstrator. In other words give her the attention she craves but on your terms. All the time you are interacting with her like this she won't be disrupting the others and her interactions with you are positive.

Have a few 'rules' which you keep referring to. Stick to them.

You might think the other parents would think this unfair. But if they have been watching said child disrupting everything they will be pleased to see the disruption stop.

Once you have her hooked on your positive interactions you can reduce the amount of time you focus on her. As you move away more keep the verbal interactions with her going while you help others. Thank her for working on a skill on her own without your input. It will be slow and you might always need to stay near her. The others will learn if the class is well behaved. Don't worry about that. They will learn nothing if she disrupts the class.

Finally a 5 year old child will not be deliberately trying to make you look bad to your boss. That would involve them thinking about someone other than themselves. He he. It is more likely that as another adults approaches / joins the group she feels the group dynamics shift and reacts to that unknown by acting up. As you boss comes over I would focus more on her, interacting verbally, praising and using as a demo. Keep her in the familiar group dynamic to keep her feeling more secure and giving you more control.

Sorry that was rambling - hope some of that might help. Those are the kind of things I used to use when teaching 5 year olds at school

 

[Bella's Mom]

fFinally a 5 year old child will not be deliberately trying to make you look bad to your boss. That would involve them thinking about someone other than themselves. He he.

Lurking parent but I had to LOL right here. SO true!!!!!! And hugs to those who coach small ones. You all have a special gift to be able to work with the littles.

 

[MaryA]

Also a parent, ZERO gymnastics background, but I used to be a music teacher including K and Pre-K music. Think about how you organize the class. Very SHORT attention span, so plan on changing activities frequently, and be ready to switch activities as soon as you see attention starting to wane. You'll be able to "feel" that it's about to happen once you've been working with this age group for awhile. Also, try to alternate a higher energy activity with a lower energy one... so if you're doing something that involves running, make the next activity something where they're more still... it keeps them from getting bored AND from getting overly worked-up. Even think about how you're moving from one activity to the next. You could have them all super-focused on the bar, move them before they start to get bored, but then lose all that focus as you move to the beam. Have them march to the beam, or play follow-the-leader to the beam, or whatever. It requires a lot more planning than you have to do for your older group, but it should help with the focus.

As for your "problem child," I think what a previous poster (didn't look at the name before I hit reply, sorry) said was a good idea about making her feel special. Tell her the other girls really seem to look up to her so you really need her help to get the whole class to pay attention. Tell her she's your "special helper." Give her a few specific things she can do to "help" like listening when you talk (maybe a hand signal like a finger over the lips and then all of the children do it to) and not getting on the equiptment until it's her turn, etc.

Good luck! It can be a challenging age to work with, but very rewarding! I'm sure that they ADORE you!

 

[hakunamatata]

Thank you guys. I appreciate all of the advice and will definitely try to incorporate some of it into the next class. I think the hand signal is a great idea, as well as maybe asking her to demonstrate to give her the attention she needs in a positive way.

I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but when my boss comes over she will actually point at me and say, "She didn't tell me what to on my station so I just goofed around!" when I was completely clear about what they were supposed to do, always addressed her questions, and actually saw her working on the correct skills so I know she knew exactly what to do. It's like she wants to get me in trouble. I didn't believe a 5-year-old could be like that, either, but she really is.

 

[TwoTwirlyGirls]

There is a little girl who is probably 5 at my daughter's gym like this. I know because she 'disappears' from her class and wanders around the lobby at least 5 times every single class. Her mother never stays there, so I try to steer her back into class usually... if I see her. I really don't think they ever noticed her leaving until recently. I also notice her getting into trouble a lot in class for not listening, and I know for a fact that she bothers the other girls in her class. If I watch them, I will usually see the other girls jump out of line if she is near them and move to a different place. I really don't have any advice for you.. I'm not even sure how they deal with it or why they haven't talked to the parents. She is in an advanced preschool class (though I have no idea why, because her skills aren't advanced at all.. she is just bigger than average physically), and if I were the coach, I would send her back to the regular preschool class if she was acting like that!

Have you spoken to the parents? Have you suggested moving her to a group that's at her maturity level, if that's an option?

 

[Bella's Mom]

I don't know how your stations are set up so please don't think me presumptuous by sharing my daughter's experience.

When she was little bitty, like two and a half/three age, the girl who coached her at the time would set up these long stations and then have one girl start and work through the whole pattern. The other five or six girls would be required to sit on a folded mat and wait as each child before them worked the entire course.

Is it possible that this is a factor with your kids? Do they have too much down time where they are waiting their turn?

 

[hakunamatata]

I wish I could speak to the parents or send her to a different class, but I don't have the power to do that with this gym's system. I have gone to the person in charge and expressed my concerns about this child's behavioral issues, and he really did nothing about it. They operate under the "customer's always right" type of philosophy, so they would NEVER go to the parents about it (which I think is silly, especially when it's interfering with the other kids' abilities to learn). Even if I did go to the parents, I'm sure I would get the "What! My daughter's a saint!" attitude.

And the kids are always moving, they don't have to sit and watch while the other girls go one at time. Thank goodness! I think they would get so antsy if that were the case.

I don't mean to sound like all these kids are trouble and I just have no clue how to deal with them. 95% of the kids are awesome. I enjoy teaching them. A couple other girls occasionally get off-track, but that's obviously to be expected with young kids. It's just this one girl that I really do not understand.

Thanks again for all of your input, I appreciate it.

 

[Aussie_coach]

If you look around your gym at all your top competitive kids, all the really driven and self motivated higher level gymnasts, its important to remember that they would have pretty much all started out as 5 year old beginners. But a great coach helped them to fall in love with gymnastics and develop a passion for it and made them the gymnasts they are today. Gymnasts are not born self motivated, a coach helps them to believe in themselves and develop their skills and they become self motivated. A gymnast is not born as a level 10, she must first be a recreational kid learning the basics.

Don't request that this child change class, because it is a good thing you have her in your class, this is your chance to learn some really great strategies for dealing with kids, these strategies will allow you to deal with so many problems with ease in the future.

Here are some tips
1. Serious gymnastics can be fun as well. Kids will focus on what ever you make fun. So make learning gymnastics fun. You need to be creative, why not go along and watch some of the pre school and rec classes from other coaches to see what ideas they come up with. Give you classes themes, make skills into competitions, use props etc.

2. If you want kids to pay attention to you and not the equipment then you need to be more exciting than the equipment. learn to use your voice in an exciting way, change your tones and intonation and use lots of praise and encouragement.

3. 5 year olds actually love rules, have a few important gym rules to keep order and ask the kids to tell you what they are for example "we are going to bars now, who remembers the bar rule?", they will be eager to say "sit and wait without touching the bars" or whatever your rule is. Always praise the kids who are following the rules and the others will quickly follow suit.

4. Always remember that a kid does not have the power to affect you and how you feel. Never allow a kid to make you feel bad or down, you choose your emotions and not the child. If she is disruptive sit her out for 5 minutes away from the other kids in a place where she will be bored, so she is not rewarded for bad behavior. If she continues to misbehave when she returns to class, sit her out again for 10 minutes. She may continue to test you to see if you will give in, it may mean a lot of sitting out for her but she will soon get the idea.

5. Remember all young kids love attention, and usually good attention is much harder to get than bad attention. If kids are good we might praise them or we might not, and often its isn't until the end of the lesson. If they are bad they can pretty much ensure immediate attention. So naturally bad is the better choice. You can eliminate this by making good attention easier to earn than bad. Praise the kids doing the right thing instead of speaking to the kids doing the wrong thing.

6. The child is not trying to get you in trouble with the boss, a 5 year olds brain does not have that sort of forethought. She is trying to find ways to send the blame to someone else. Your boss will be more intimidating to her, so when your boss comes over she finds a way to blame someone else for her possibly doing the wrong thing so it doesn't seem like its her fault.

 

[gymnut1]

6. The child is not trying to get you in trouble with the boss, a 5 year olds brain does not have that sort of forethought. She is trying to find ways to send the blame to someone else. Your boss will be more intimidating to her, so when your boss comes over she finds a way to blame someone else for her possibly doing the wrong thing so it doesn't seem like its her fault.

This is very true and said much better than I tried to. When you see your boss coming go to her and support her emotionally by helping and praising her. If she feels confident she is doing the right thing she will be fine. She is laying blame probably because she thinks she has a 'bad' label and expects to be told off/ doing the wrong thing. It is quite sad that a 5 year old feels like that.

 

[hakunamatata]

Thanks Aussie_Coach. That was a very helpful post. I guess I should've mentioned in the beginning, I am given a lesson plan at this gym and must follow it exactly as it is laid out, so I have no say in making things more fun or setting up little competitions. I would love to do that but I can't. Similarly I am not allowed to set up my own rules in this class. The only rule is that the kids be safe, so I cannot establish a rule about disruptive behavior. In fact, I'm not even supposed to sit someone out if they are being disruptive, but I think I will have to fudge that rule a bit for the well being of everyone in the class. I am put in a position where I have very little (or no) control over how the class is set up, but I will absolutely try to keep things interesting and exciting with my tone of voice and with praise. I appreciate all your advice.

I hope this child doesn't feel like she has a "bad" label on her, and I most definitely hope it's not my doing. I continually praise her when she is listening and working hard. I try to give her high 5's and she doesn't want to receive them; she'll actually stare at my hand and walk away. I have just come in to replace the last teacher, so I'm not sure of the reasons for this little girl's actions or if they have been going on for a while. She certainly is not a bad kid - she's quite fun and I think the other girls look up to her. She is just such a challenge for me. I don't want her to feel bad about herself. I will continue with the praise and encouragement and see if things turn around with time.

 

[BlairBob]

Rec:

If a child is mis-behaving and becoming a danger or disruption to themselves or the group, they sit. Generally, in the general area for 1,2,or 3m. If they do not perform said activity as told, they repeat it. They will sit or not do anything. Make sure you talk to parent after class if you have to sit them out more than once or if it's the first time and they are new possibly.

Generally, I sit them out once during an event, after a warning. Younger kids get a warning, older they don't since they know better. Second time means 5m, third time means they got on the wall closest to the waiting area or in the bleachers.

Team:

Girls: wallsit
Boys: prone support hold

Possibly squat/frog jumps or burpees/squat thrusts (without pushup) instead. Of course, V-ups or rope climbs can be useful as well or simple wall handstand for time.