Parents Out of control siblings

[AndieRose]

Okay, maybe I'm overreacting, but should I say something to the mother who allows her two boys to jump all over the bleachers during team practice? These boys are at least 8 or 9 and they are literally jumping non-stop across the entire span, up, down, and across the bleachers, during the whole practice. It doesn't bother me when smaller kids are climbing on them, but these boys are definitely old enough to be told "no". It's nonstop and very intrusive as they get right up in my face and shake the bleachers the entire 45 minutes. I was patient the first few times, but it's getting ridiculous. Should I bite my tongue or say something?

 

[bookworm]

If they're disruptive enough to be shaking the bleachers, I'd say something....is a parent even there with them?

 

[AndieRose]

If they're disruptive enough to be shaking the bleachers, I'd say something....is a parent even there with them?

Yes, she's there messing with her phone the whole time and occasionally asking them to try handstands! I'm really wondering how she could be so oblivious to the annoyance. Maybe she's just used to it.

 

[ZJsMom]

It sounds like they have some excess energy to burn. Maybe you can suggest she put them in a gymnastics class.

 

[AndieRose]

It sounds like they have some excess energy to burn. Maybe you can suggest she put them in a gymnastics class.

They're in a class that starts just as we leave, and now that I think about it, they may not even have a sibling in one of the teams. I think they just get there early. I guess I just have to try and gently mention it.

 

[thefellowsmom]

I have to say this kind of stuff drives me crazy. I would absolutely never allow my children to be rude and disruptive to people like that.

There is this one mom at our gym that sits her kid right down in the middle of a table of parents having a discussion and turns the video on The kids device up full volume and then just walks away. Really? How about some headphones or go put her in a chair in the corner at least.

We have another who yells in excited baby talk to her one year old for the entirely of her dds class. That one is a joy.

We have the bleacher jumpers too. I don't care if the kid is two or ten, this should be halted immediately. It is disruptive and rude to the other people there trying to quietly watch or have a conversation or get some work done or read their child a book quietly while they wait. One time a woman's computer got jumped right onto the floor and broke, so there is more than just our sanity at stake here.

And I don't want to hear it is hard and what am I supposed to do with them while they have to sit there for that long. Not the rest of our problems. I have been managing this entertain the sibling thing for many years. My youngest son has literally grown up in the gym lobby and at meets with all the other little brothers and not once have I ever allowed him to be disruptive without calling him on it immediately. Bring activities, a device, books, coloring, homework, whatever, but do it quietly.

With that said, I think it is very difficult to do anything about. One time I did catch the dad's eye of the girl jumping up and down the bleachers and gave him the "really?" Face and he did make her stop. I have said something softly to someone before. I find being quiet and very sweet seems to work the best but you have to be prepared for whatever their reaction might be.

I don't know, it is definitely a tough one. I just don't understand why people find it so acceptable to be so completely inconsiderate of one another. Don't even get me started on people's driving habits. LOL!!!

 

[Popcorn]

We have that at our gym too. My kids were high energy and I could not always control all of the energy, so I feel their pain. The difference is that we did not spend time anywhere that they would be a disruption unless absolutely unavoidable (ie., hospitals, doctor's offices, bank).

We left grocery stores, library story times (haha I don't think we ever made it all the way through those, what was I thinking), even the zoo if they behaved like animals. And you know what, now they behave like humans. So I have very little patience for parents who turn a blind eye when their children are being disrespectful of other people's right to a calm environment.

Say something. Pretend you're worried about safety if it's easier, or mention that it's not safe for the gymnasts on the floor to be distracted. Or just a friendly "Hey, can you run for two more minutes and then sit still please? It hurts to sit on bleachers that shake. Thanks so much". And make sure mom or dad hears you.

Good luck!!

 

[Shooosh]

Since we are venting...
It drives me bananas when parents let their kids take up the seats. We have very limited viewing (plenty of seats within 5 feet of viewing area, most of them do not have a view though) and it's sad to see parents trying to lean over to see their child because some one has their 8 and 10 year old sitting in the seat. If they were truly watching, that's one thing but they usually have out a phone or tablet.

OP- I would probably sit and stew about it. I am just not confrontational enough! :/

 

[gymgal]

I spend very little time in the lobby now but when I did and a child was running around or jumping the bleachers, I would speak directly to them if the parent was showing no sign of stopping the behavior. Some parents really are clueless as to how much certain behaviors annoy others. Of course, living in the south seems to allow a little more leeway with talking to other people's children taking without parents getting all defensive. When mine were younger, I went out of the way to make sure they were quiet and settled.

 

[AndieRose]

I have to say this kind of stuff drives me crazy. I would absolutely never allow my children to be rude and disruptive to people like that.

There is this one mom at our gym that sits her kid right down in the middle of a table of parents having a discussion and turns the video on The kids device up full volume and then just walks away. Really? How about some headphones or go put her in a chair in the corner at least.

We have another who yells in excited baby talk to her one year old for the entirely of her dds class. That one is a joy.

We have the bleacher jumpers too. I don't care if the kid is two or ten, this should be halted immediately. It is disruptive and rude to the other people there trying to quietly watch or have a conversation or get some work done or read their child a book quietly while they wait. One time a woman's computer got jumped right onto the floor and broke, so there is more than just our sanity at stake here.

And I don't want to hear it is hard and what am I supposed to do with them while they have to sit there for that long. Not the rest of our problems. I have been managing this entertain the sibling thing for many years. My youngest son has literally grown up in the gym lobby and at meets with all the other little brothers and not once have I ever allowed him to be disruptive without calling him on it immediately. Bring activities, a device, books, coloring, homework, whatever, but do it quietly.

With that said, I think it is very difficult to do anything about. One time I did catch the dad's eye of the girl jumping up and down the bleachers and gave him the "really?" Face and he did make her stop. I have said something softly to someone before. I find being quiet and very sweet seems to work the best but you have to be prepared for whatever their reaction might be.

I don't know, it is definitely a tough one. I just don't understand why people find it so acceptable to be so completely inconsiderate of one another. Don't even get me started on people's driving habits. LOL!!!

Exactly! I don't want to start any drama but, jeez, how can she not see what a disturbance this causes. I always try very hard to be respectful of other parents and it drives me up the wall when people let older kids go nuts. I'm more forgiving when it's toddlers, but 8 or 9 is old enough to control themselves for 45 minutes. Both of my kids are high energy and I still manage to tell them to knock it off when they're acting obnoxious. I bring activities to keep them quietly occupied or I straight up tell them to learn how to wait patiently and sit like a lady. Not enough parents teach this skill now and alot of kids expect to be entertained 24/7.

 

[AndieRose]

I spend very little time in the lobby now but when I did and a child was running around or jumping the bleachers, I would speak directly to them if the parent was showing no sign of stopping the behavior. Some parents really are clueless as to how much certain behaviors annoy others. Of course, living in the south seems to allow a little more leeway with talking to other people's children taking without parents getting all defensive. When mine were younger, I went out of the way to make sure they were quiet and settled.

I might try this, I did give them very disapproving glances today, but I don't think they saw, or cared, LOL!

 

[AndieRose]

We have that at our gym too. My kids were high energy and I could not always control all of the energy, so I feel their pain. The difference is that we did not spend time anywhere that they would be a disruption unless absolutely unavoidable (ie., hospitals, doctor's offices, bank).

We left grocery stores, library story times (haha I don't think we ever made it all the way through those, what was I thinking), even the zoo if they behaved like animals. And you know what, now they behave like humans. So I have very little patience for parents who turn a blind eye when their children are being disrespectful of other people's right to a calm environment.

Say something. Pretend you're worried about safety if it's easier, or mention that it's not safe for the gymnasts on the floor to be distracted. Or just a friendly "Hey, can you run for two more minutes and then sit still please? It hurts to sit on bleachers that shake. Thanks so much". And make sure mom or dad hears you.

Good luck!!

Thanks! I might try that. If mom isn't gonna say anything, I just may tell the little buggers myself! LOL

 

[AndieRose]

Since we are venting...
It drives me bananas when parents let their kids take up the seats. We have very limited viewing (plenty of seats within 5 feet of viewing area, most of them do not have a view though) and it's sad to see parents trying to lean over to see their child because some one has their 8 and 10 year old sitting in the seat. If they were truly watching, that's one thing but they usually have out a phone or tablet.

OP- I would probably sit and stew about it. I am just not confrontational enough! :/

I hear ya! I need to work up to it because I really don't want to start anything!

 

[profmom]

Oh, I don't bother with the parents. If kids are running around like maniacs, I tell them to stop. It's not safe in most busily trafficked areas of a gym.

 

[MeetDirector]

Tell, don't ask, the children to knock it off. If the oblivious parent says something tell her to take it up with the gym owner. Her kids are being rude and endangering others. I would then drop a note or talk to the gym owner and tell them about the situation and what you did. If this behavior was taking place in the line of sight of athletes working out, its even worse. If it results in them being ticked off, so what. At least the behavior won't be happening.

 

[cbifoja]

If mom gets pissed, tell her that you won't have to parent her children if she will. Then walk away. Don't argue with her.

 

[Sasha]

If you're seeing this repeated times, and mom is either oblivious or the occasional weak "Hey Stop it" parent (but kids have learned they can successfully ignore her without consequence - i.e., "today's most common parent" - ugh - separate rant), I would address the boys directly. Probably something like,

(In a kind and friendly but direct and authoritative voice)
"Hey boys, can I speak with you for a minute? Hi. I'm Suzanne. Jumping on the bleachers definitely looks really fun. You might not realize, though, that every time you jump on one every other person, including me, can feel a big shake. And that doesn't feel very good. It's also quite loud, and many people are trying to think, read, or work. The gymnasts out there might also be bothered by the noise and all the running around. I'm pretty sure you don't want to bother and annoy people so much, right?....."

So yes, I would intervene if this wasn't a one-off.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Personally if the parent won't step in and they are in my space I speak with kids directly. And if the parent gets bent, I have a discussion with the parent.

That said, I also don't assume a kid "should know better and be able to do better". Lots of kids out there with needs that are not obvious, so don't assume they are capable of more. Just because they are big doesn't mean they are capable of behaving how they look.

My BFFs kid is 18, and at about the level of an 10 yr old on her meds when they wear off more like a 5 yr old. Its not bad parenting. And its not them stretching her beyond her limits. They are amazing parents. And sometimes its just more then she can handle. So no, I don't assume.

 

[munchkin3]

I have no problem whatsoever telling a kid what is respectful behavior. I also have no problem telling parents nicely.
I used to downright scold the teenagers playing basketball who loved to swear and carry on!

 

[Mom2-4]

I was at a meet once and a toddler was jumping on the bleachers next to me, probably 10 rows up. His mom was chatting not paying attention. He slipped and started to fall I reached over and grabbed his arm to keep him from falling. His mom glared at me and said "I got it" very rudely. So I moved, not ten minutes later, he slipped and had a bloody lip. She hauled him out bleeding and screaming. Some people learn the hard way.