Parents Parents giving Financial Rewards for Young Atheletes

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Please please please don't ever give your kids money for doing well in gymnastics (and honestly, I don't think it's a good idea in any sport).

Here's why: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overjustification

EDIT: To clarify:
I have no objections to parents celebrating a good meet or a good practice or a new skill with something special after the fact, but I strongly object to having any sort of planned reward for success. For example, "Hey, great meet! Let's celebrate by stopping for ice cream on the way home" is fine, but "If you score above X on bars, I'll buy you ice cream after the meet" is not.

Gymnastics should be its own reward. If the enjoyment the sport and the pride of accomplishment are not enough motivation in and of themselves, then the kid is unlikely to stick with gymnastics for the long term anyway.

 

[LJL07]

Please please please don't ever give your kids money for doing well in gymnastics (and honestly, I don't think it's a good idea in any sport).

Here's why: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overjustification

EDIT: To clarify:
I have no objections to parents celebrating a good meet or a good practice or a new skill with something special after the fact, but I strongly object to having any sort of planned reward for success. For example, "Hey, great meet! Let's celebrate by stopping for ice cream on the way home" is fine, but "If you score above X on bars, I'll buy you ice cream after the meet" is not.

Gymnastics should be its own reward. If the enjoyment the sport and the pride of accomplishment are not enough motivation in and of themselves, then the kid is unlikely to stick with gymnastics for the long term anyway.

It's true about the kids becoming too invested in the extrinsic reward over time and losing the internal motivation. DD's gym rewards skills by letting them practice "fun stuff" or up training. That seems to work great for her.

 

[meganliz77]

When my daughter gets a new difficult skill, I buy her as a sort of now expected surprise of a beanie baby pet thing... Stuffed animal big googly eyes... Then she brings one in her gym bag to meets as a good luck reminder! Something sweet and small, nothing major and I would never offer money as reward.

I believe sport involvement should be rooted in intrinsic motivation not external rewards... A small $5 stuffed animal as recognition is very different than $20 cash (in my opinion).

Besides, this sport is expensive enough lol

 

[Faith]

Ours is more like "you've worked really hard for this meet, we'll get you that dolly you wanted after".

Dd1 only really "earns" pennies- £1 is what, about 70 cents?

I'm kind of ok with it as I remember being 10 years old and training 20+ hours a week. I had no way of earning my own money, my friends would do chores, wash cars, walk pets, but I was always training. I used to think if only someone would pay me for doing gym! It would have made no difference to my motivation (I'm not that kind of person), but would have made a big difference to me not feeling I was missing out being in the gym all the time.

One of our coaches has been known to hold mock competitions for pennies. The kids love it- dd won 22p and was so proud - but for her it's still about the winning/achievement, not the money.

 

[Ariekannairb]

We don't do cash, but we will do small incentives such as icecream. I don't have a problem with it though. I mean, I get rewarded for the work I do, my husband gets rewarded for the work he does and while I get that it isn't quite the same, these children go above and beyond what a normal child does. It can get old and it is just hard. I don't know that I would do it for medals simply because I don't think medals are always a true indicator of success a the meet, but I have no problem rewarding for hard work.

 

[cttay217]

One of my DS's teammates is financially rewarded for scores...he gets a $5 for 8, $10 for 9, $20 for 10!! We have 6 events in MAG, which means the kids could walk away with $120 per competition! Crazy! What is even crazier is that the entire team and all of the parents know about it... there is a usually a joke that "you better get your wallet out", ha, ha! Personally, I think it is ridiculous and just too much. DS has asked me why I won't pay him for good scores and I just joke that I "can't afford it because he is too good". I am all for a small treat or reward, but when kids are spending as much time as gymnasts do dedicating time to a sport, I would hope that they are doing the sport because they want too. New skills and high scores should be the pay off for all of the work.

 

[mimi]

IMO a small celebration is fine but I get very leery attaching "rewards" to skill getting/placement. To me, getting the skill IS the reward. Higher level athletics requires a lot of intrinsic motivation. IMO, without it, it will always be an uphill battle.

 

[Clover]

No rewards.

She does get ice cream after meets no matter what kind of scores she gets, and of course, I pay the gymnastics bills.

 

[ladybird]

Please please please don't ever give your kids money for doing well in gymnastics (and honestly, I don't think it's a good idea in any sport).

Here's why: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overjustification

EDIT: To clarify:
I have no objections to parents celebrating a good meet or a good practice or a new skill with something special after the fact, but I strongly object to having any sort of planned reward for success. For example, "Hey, great meet! Let's celebrate by stopping for ice cream on the way home" is fine, but "If you score above X on bars, I'll buy you ice cream after the meet" is not.

Gymnastics should be its own reward. If the enjoyment the sport and the pride of accomplishment are not enough motivation in and of themselves, then the kid is unlikely to stick with gymnastics for the long term anyway.

I was hoping you would chime in here. I remember when you posted this before and it really made sense.

 

[wheezy]

Ice cream for special stubborn or tough skills and achievements........of course I get some too since my presence is key of course!!!

She usually gets to buy something at a meet just because she competed and put herself 'out there'. I don't care what she comes it at.

 

[newgymMama]

This will be dds first year competing but she did cheer for the past two years. We don't reward for performance. I always tell my kids getting to do the sport you love is your reward. It does get hard to have to explain that over and over when they see so many other families reward for a specific skill or performance.
We do make the comps fun, like someone said, hotel with pools and dinners but that would happen regardless.
I did tell dd when she makes it to level 8 , she can be home schooled if she wants. That is a huge reward for her,lol

 

[gotgym]

While the other kids would be saying to their moms ..Ok can I get my money now, or pick my new leo after a good meet performance..my youngest would say she didnt need anything but , could she skip school since she won 1st..

 

[newgymMama]

I guess they have priorities

 

[sportsmommy]

I have never really given rewards for sports or grades. We will celebrate a new skill or gets a grade she has worked hard for by getting a treat. I tried to bribe her once when she was having an especially hard time with a skill. It just added more pressure. No matter how she does at a meet, she picks the restaurant and i usually allow her to get a dessert.

 

[headoverheels]

No payment for grades, skills or placement here. I know my daughter, and if she thought she could get money for doing gymnastics (as if paying for it was already not enough!) I think it would erode her personal enjoyment of the sport. For me, it would indicate that I was more personally invested in it than is good for either of us. We try very hard NOT to focus on scores and placement at meets. We ask her if she had fun and if she did her best, and then we let it go. That's not easy for me, because what I'd really rather do is an in-depth post-meet analysis, but I save that for later when she's in bed and I can bore DH with it.

 

[gymdog]

As a parent and a coach I support rewards for skills but do not recommend rewards for placement. This easily could add stress to a performance and backfire.

Yeah, I'm not above a random little push at all, but I don't think it should be a regular thing or tied to placement at all. I have rewards for a couple big skills that I think of more as a tradition or memento, kind of a badge to say "I did it". It makes it a little more special for the kids. I think of the charm or the boiled peanuts like that - more of a tradition/acknowledgement.

Holding up a $20 by the goal is ridiculous though. If your kid really wouldn't make the goal without that or that makes any difference at all in the heat of the competition moment, then there's no point because there's going to be a level/time when dad can't hold the $20 up and make the kid do it in the game. We're talking about the middle of the competition! Come on now.

That said I have definitely squirreled away Lifesaver candies and told the kids for the love of Pete if they just sit through this last event without causing havoc during a meet with a wait that dragged on and on...I might have done that and shoved candy in their little hands as soon as they came off the beam. I stand by my actions and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

[jessmomto2]

My dd is very young still but I would not offer incentives or rewards for a sport. I think a celebration after an accomplishment I would do but dd would not know about it first. I see school as something different though. I wouldn't really reward grades when they are younger like in grade school as they normally really enjoy school at that age, but as they get older I think I will reward good grades. The reasoning for that one is that school is not a choice and something they have to do and often don't enjoy most of it. I tell my kids even at their age right now that school is their job and they have to try their very best, and who doesn't want to be compensated for their work when they would rather be doing something else. Sports though should be fun and something they want to do not feel like they have to do.

 

[gymjunkie]

Ugh -- please do not bribe your kids in any fashion!!!

As a coach, I can divide the kids on the team who are bribed and those who are not (without actually knowing beforehand). The kids who receive no external incentives always out-do the kids who are paid in any form for their accomplishments. They are more level in their workouts (the bribed kids have lots of ups and downs & go through more slumps than the kids who are not). The kids who are bribed never go the extra mile the way the kids who are not bribed will. A celebration dinner is different from bribing them upfront. The difference is they get to know that they did it for the sake of doing it, not for food (since the food was never mentioned beforehand). You've robbed your kid of that feeling by giving them an external incentive. Going back to my own gymnastics days, I can't imagine if someone had tried to reduce my hard work & feelings of accomplishment to "she did it for the ice cream cone."

 

[gwenmom]

I've promised ice cream when she gets her kip. That is all. This is her thing and if it not rewarding enough for her then it's her choice to find something else.

I am the chauffeur, bank and meet cheerleader. That is all.

 

[rosettasmom]

Nope, I pay for her gymnastics, isn't that enough?!?
I have taken her for a treat on occasion to celebrate a new skill like her kip, etc. It's never pre planned and certainly not ever monetary. I simply can not afford to make this any more expensive than it already is!