Parents Special Request

[gothgymmom]

Well everyone, thanks for the thoughts and prayers, but it didnt go very well. I thought she did good, messed up a bit on floor and beam, but not horribly. slightly messed up on the bars, but what gets me is that another girl on her team messed up the same exact way ( over rotated on BHC and had to get back on the bar) and got a higher score than my DD. There was an inquiry about her vault which to me and the rest of the teams parents looked spotless! she was straight and tight, didnt pike at all, and still got a 8.1. I will find out later today when my DH takes her to practice the results and why they gave her such a low score. her AA was only 31.25. She was upset. I was upset for her, had to go outside and break down crying so she wouldnt see me. One more meet next month to get the score, and if that doesnt go very good im going to ask if she wants to take a year off competing. she doesnt want to quit gymnastics though. Dont know if I should wait though until after the last meet or wait until after camp this summer. Shes going to IGC in june so that might help her out a bit. Im clueless. I am completely lost on what to say to her.

 

[LJL07]

So sorry! This is such a hard sport to understand sometimes. We have definitely had some meets this year where routines looked the same or even a bit worse, and the scoring seemed inconsistent. It is such a roller coaster. The worst part is seeing your kid disappointed. Hang in there!

 

[gymdog]

Is it possible at all for her to have some private lessons? Is she missing skills, or just has falls? Lacks flexibility or strength (there are exercises she could do ). How many hours does she practice.

Encourage her to keep up with it if she loves gymnastics. Adversity builds character. Learning to work harder to achieve your goals is important.

 

[gothgymmom]

Is it possible at all for her to have some private lessons? Is she missing skills, or just has falls? Lacks flexibility or strength (there are exercises she could do ). How many hours does she practice.

Encourage her to keep up with it if she loves gymnastics. Adversity builds character. Learning to work harder to achieve your goals is important.

If I had the time and extra money for private lessons I would. She is the most flexible person I know (even gets compliments from HC on her flexability)..she goes to gym 2 times a week for 3 hours each day and practices countless hours at home. Shes not missing any L2 skills, even has most of her L3 skills. she really doesnt fall that much so that one on bars was a complete surprise for me. shes pretty strong as she can carry me for a few feet (shes almost 8 yrs old and im about 100lb give or take a few lbs)...i know she doesnt have perfectly good form yet and im hoping camp this summer will help with that. theres a few things i know she doesnt understand yet too, like fixing the mistakes the coaches keep telling her to do, remembering her routines, keeping her legs straight and toes pointed (grrrrrrrrrrrr)...but when she does remember these things its like the judges still judge harshly. i have seen girls do worse then her (forgetting routine, falling, etc) and get better scores than her. its infuriating. I had to walk out of the gym yesterday so she wouldnt see me crying, i was that upset for her...not at her but because i know what she wanted and she didnt get, and i knew she was going to be upset.

 

[gymdog]

I think it's not a good idea to focus on what other girls are getting. It sounds like she is scoring consistently in a certain range throughout the meet so I would say there are probably some persistent form and body line errors (such as too archy/poor control of lower back).

Can she take a ballet class? Even through a county or YMCA program may help with form, posture, and coordination.

 

[LJL07]

I think it's not a good idea to focus on what other girls are getting. It sounds like she is scoring consistently in a certain range throughout the meet so I would say there are probably some persistent form and body line errors (such as too archy/poor control of lower back).

You say she is very flexible, so maybe this is part of the problem? My daughter is also crazy flexible in her back and all splits, but has to work really hard at being tight. I also think my kid is losing points for arched back in the vault, beam dismount, and floor. Bars is the only thing mine is consistently doing really well in. I would love to know what kind of exercises can be done for that? If it's any consolation, I hear all the time that once she matures and develops better body awareness she has amazing potential, so we are trying to ride it out since she loves it. Try not to give up yet!

Supposedly these low levels aren't that important score wise. I had read once that the scoring in levels 1-3 is almost arbitrary, but that was before the level change this year. At our last meet, I watched 4 of them go in a row on floor, and they all looked sloppy form wise, but the scores went up a tenth of a point with each gymnast.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I have a child struggling in a sport right now. No matter how hard he works he is still not getting playing time. It is hard to watch and hard to see him struggle. All I can tell him is to keep working hard and trying his hardest and hopefully it will pay off in the end. Other than that I can only dry his tears and try to support him. I recommend you do the same.

 

[profmom]

It's a fine line between being fully behind your child and supporting her/his dreams and becoming too primarily invested in outcomes. My daughter had a few tough days when she found out that almost all of her teammates were moving up to L6 and she was not, but we have found over the years that children will generally work through disappointments pretty quickly if we encourage them to do so. No matter what happens at a meet, whether it be great, OK, or horrible, everybody goes back to the gym the next day or week for practice. And I say this as a parent who has had children finish both first and dead last at big meets -- both of whom have practice tomorrow.

Until they get to upper level optionals and are at states/regionals hoping to make it to regionals/nationals, meets are nothing more than pressure sets done away from home with better-than-usual hairdos and parents watching. As DS's head coach told the guys before their very first meet, "The meets are for the parents. Gymnastics is what happens at the gym."

BIG hugs to your daughter, who will work through this and progress, I am sure.

 

[flipflopsalto]

How are her feet? Do they turn in at all? Any time feet turn in on floor and beam it can be a slight deduction and this is something that is hard to spot.

 

[LJL07]

I have a child struggling in a sport right now. No matter how hard he works he is still not getting playing time. It is hard to watch and hard to see him struggle. All I can tell him is to keep working hard and trying his hardest and hopefully it will pay off in the end. Other than that I can only dry his tears and try to support him. I recommend you do the same.

I think this is good advice, but (and I don't mean to speak for the OP) I find gymnastics harder to stomach than any other sport. My oldest went through some of what you describe above with soccer, and it was easier to maintain my presence of mind to support her through that-- not that I enjoyed seeing her struggle. With gymnastics, these young kids are in the spotlight and get one chance with no do overs to earn a score that is xx away from being "perfect." And they are on a "team," but really they are all competing against each other. It's psychologically stressful. But yeah, if they love it, all we can do is dry their tears. We have no control over any of this.

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

It is a really tough thing to watch a child become disappointed or frustrated with the outcome of a meet. DD is normally quite good at accepting her place, whether it be medalling or not. Until her last meet, where she had a poor performance on beam, and it was soooo hard to watch her be literally crushed, disappointed in herself, etc.

It is a hard thing to learn that focus should NOT be on scores, but personal bests, pride in actually having the gumption to get out there, etc. But more than that, it is a hard thing to learn to get over it if you don't score well, as tomorrow is another day and you are back in the gym doing what you love, and no one will remember if you got 8.1 or 9.1, except for you. Your friends will still be there, the coaches will still be there to try and help, and you're still there to learn and have fun.

The wiping of the tears doesn't get easier. That's just our lot in life as parents.

 

[gracyomalley]

I know many disagree, and that for many its simply their reality - but this is exactly why I hate to see 5-7 year olds competing these low levels, unless its "all fun and practice competing and doing meet hair - or for boys remembering to put your shorts on right side out..."!

When kids first start to compete they usually have a big learning curve - and once they have the basic skills it can seem as a parent that they should "score well"Sure there are a few phenoms who have perfect form and skills at age 6/7...but most kids not so much...and this improves with time and proper teaching/practice - but still at different rates for different kids...

The lower level vaults are perfect examples - old boys L4 was a run - straight jump! We all laughed all season waiting to see if any boy could score much different from the others....even the hand-spring on mats is really "a training drill"...DS younger (9) can vault a 9.4 - or a 7, depending upon whether his mind is on his form/run/etc....really - 2 meets in a row! I'm eternally grateful that DD gym doesn't compete until new L4 - sure, she couldn't get over the vault table her first meet and scored a 5.5 - but it was a mid 8 within 6 months....and her whole team/team parents clapped when she first made it over in an actual meet...I was in the lobby - couldn't watch vault then!

All this is to say you REALLY need to stop sweating the early levels - what was it Dunno said - scores don't matter until age 16/L 9/10.....

She will learn the form and consistency with time. If she's at a good gym she will be encouraged to enjoy being JUST WHERE SHE IS - whatever level that is. camps/privates are all great for specific issues/skills/fears...but form simply takes repetition and corrections...which you mention she still has trouble understanding..which is age appropriate.

It was hard the season DD didn't make it to states with her friends - but she wasn't ready - end of story. We celebrated for them.

She worked hard and had fun and made it the next season. She chose not to move up with a couple of friends this year and has spent the meet season sort of happy about that (tons of medals) and sort of not sure....now not talking about how states meet will go , but about how she's a L8 next week...I can watch the meets now, but stopped watching practices. My job is meet hair, double checking that the meet bag is properly packed, feeding the beast and figuring out where we go for post-meet dinner....It does still kill me a little inside when she is a bit disappointed with scores that she never would have dreamed of achieving a year ago...but I do know that as they go along the goals only get higher and harder to achieve...

If she had been allowed to feel defeated by not making states that first season, or not moving to L6 that fall, or any other road block, well, she certainly wouldn't have made it through back handsprings on beam, giants, etc...and have no chance with all the hard stuff she'll be doing in the next few years if she sticks with it...

For your young one, if she likes doing gymnastics, loves the practices, then just do whatever you need to take all the competition pressure out of it for 6-12 months - that's my advice - she may lose interest, but she also may surprise you all....the road from a low score on vault old L5 to 6 place states optionals in the youngest age group was only 2 years for dd (11 now)....your dd path may be slower or faster even - but its not determined at all by how she did at L2!!!

Plan a nice dinner after the last meet, find a couple things she can be really proud of for this season and help her set her own goals...she's young and only 5 girls every 4 years go to the Olymipics - lots of other stuff to gain in this sport!

 

[LJL07]

I love this entire post so much that I am going to print it out, frame it, and hang it on the wall. Or at least keep it on my nightstand to refer back to from time to time. Thanks for the great perspective for us new gym team moms!!

I know many disagree, and that for many its simply their reality - but this is exactly why I hate to see 5-7 year olds competing these low levels, unless its "all fun and practice competing and doing meet hair - or for boys remembering to put your shorts on right side out..."!

When kids first start to compete they usually have a big learning curve - and once they have the basic skills it can seem as a parent that they should "score well"Sure there are a few phenoms who have perfect form and skills at age 6/7...but most kids not so much...and this improves with time and proper teaching/practice - but still at different rates for different kids...

The lower level vaults are perfect examples - old boys L4 was a run - straight jump! We all laughed all season waiting to see if any boy could score much different from the others....even the hand-spring on mats is really "a training drill"...DS younger (9) can vault a 9.4 - or a 7, depending upon whether his mind is on his form/run/etc....really - 2 meets in a row! I'm eternally grateful that DD gym doesn't compete until new L4 - sure, she couldn't get over the vault table her first meet and scored a 5.5 - but it was a mid 8 within 6 months....and her whole team/team parents clapped when she first made it over in an actual meet...I was in the lobby - couldn't watch vault then!

All this is to say you REALLY need to stop sweating the early levels - what was it Dunno said - scores don't matter until age 16/L 9/10.....

She will learn the form and consistency with time. If she's at a good gym she will be encouraged to enjoy being JUST WHERE SHE IS - whatever level that is. camps/privates are all great for specific issues/skills/fears...but form simply takes repetition and corrections...which you mention she still has trouble understanding..which is age appropriate.

It was hard the season DD didn't make it to states with her friends - but she wasn't ready - end of story. We celebrated for them.

She worked hard and had fun and made it the next season. She chose not to move up with a couple of friends this year and has spent the meet season sort of happy about that (tons of medals) and sort of not sure....now not talking about how states meet will go , but about how she's a L8 next week...I can watch the meets now, but stopped watching practices. My job is meet hair, double checking that the meet bag is properly packed, feeding the beast and figuring out where we go for post-meet dinner....It does still kill me a little inside when she is a bit disappointed with scores that she never would have dreamed of achieving a year ago...but I do know that as they go along the goals only get higher and harder to achieve...

If she had been allowed to feel defeated by not making states that first season, or not moving to L6 that fall, or any other road block, well, she certainly wouldn't have made it through back handsprings on beam, giants, etc...and have no chance with all the hard stuff she'll be doing in the next few years if she sticks with it...

For your young one, if she likes doing gymnastics, loves the practices, then just do whatever you need to take all the competition pressure out of it for 6-12 months - that's my advice - she may lose interest, but she also may surprise you all....the road from a low score on vault old L5 to 6 place states optionals in the youngest age group was only 2 years for dd (11 now)....your dd path may be slower or faster even - but its not determined at all by how she did at L2!!!

Plan a nice dinner after the last meet, find a couple things she can be really proud of for this season and help her set her own goals...she's young and only 5 girls every 4 years go to the Olymipics - lots of other stuff to gain in this sport!

 

[gracyomalley]

thanks AandAsmom - I am often too wordy - this is my quiet time without the kids or work! Wish you luck in the journey!

 

[twinmomma]

That was such an awesome response.

 

[gothgymmom]

Yes, thankyou, that was amazing! Puts alot of perspective in things...

 

[MeetDirector]

I can't agree more with Gracy - competing the early compulsory levels is a waste of time and in a lot of cases will result in the gymnast quitting when they "don't get" the skills. My Level 9 dd's gym did not start competing until the (old) level 5 and 8 years old; this was perfect! She did multiple years of training team and pre-5 and it resulted in a very solid base of foundational skills (no wasted skills like mill circle).

The sooner parents get to the "happy place" that Gracy describes, the better the whole situation becomes. Our daughters have to own this sport themselves; we can't own it for them. They have to figure out how to overcome the bumps and setbacks; we can't do that for them. We parents have to be the cheerleaders and the support system at home and keep that part of thier life on an even keel so that when the gymnastics gets tough there is still the stability of home to come home to. I know its hard and many people on here will disagree, but the sooner you can get to the point of not watching practice and just being amazed at what she can do when you see it in a meet, the better it will be all around.

Good Luck.

 

[sce]

unless its "all fun and practice competing and doing meet hair - or for boys remembering to put your shorts on right side out..."!

I do see value in lower level competition. Maybe not level 2 but 3 or 4. The boys do need to learn to manage their uniform etc. This is a skill. Also, the lower levels meets is a good place to learn. Level 4s don't qualify to regionals, but level 5s do. So by doing level 4 state you've gained some experience and might be less nervous for level 5 states.

I also agree with much of what else was said. It is hard to see her dissapointed, but encourage her on the progress she is making. Help her focus on something other than the score and what her teammates are achieving. She is little and it's level 2. She will learn and grow as a gymnast.

 

[my4buffaloes]

My dd is competing for the first time as a level 4. I have seen her make some weird mistakes that once you get some competition experience under your belt a child typically doesn't make. That is what the compulsory levels are good for. Teaching them how to compete and perform. Not about mastering the stupid compulsory routines.

 

[Bess]

I wish there was an option not to compete into level 4 around here. Unfortunately, the gyms around here start at level one. What I wouldn't do for them to just be able to focus on the form and execution the first couple of years. Of course at my little ones age it is really all about the hair, Leo, and pretty flowers after the meet ;-).