Parents To Wear or Not To Wear? That is the ?

[Deleted member 18037]

On until awards finished and team photo taken.

Crying is and age and early level thing. Because the further you go, the medals get less, unless the child is truly exceptional,

So if a child doesn't learn to deal with not getting a medal, they probably won't be in the sport for long.

 

[profmom]

Interesting. I never thought much about it. DD doesn't win many medals, so hers tend to stay on when she gets them. For DS, I think it's both a tactile thing and a sensitivity to others thing -- he doesn't like the feel of them much, and a few of his teammates sometimes don't win any medals at meets. When a meet is running through six boys' events plus AA quickly, he sometimes doesn't have time to take them off immediately if he's had a really good meet, but as soon as he has the opportunity, into his meet bag they go and stay until I fish them out later and hang them up on our now very cluttered display rack. (Two gymnasts with a combined total of ten competitive seasons.) At this point, mine are both more concerned with how they've done in relation to their own personal yardsticks than scores or placements. Well, except for that one meet where my daughter won vault. We'll never forget that!

Honestly, I think as long as a child is being sensitive to those who haven't had the meet they wanted, no matter whether that means placing third instead of first because of one horrible event or not having gotten any medals at all, what they do with the medals is irrelevant.

 

[lovemygymnast]

Well, I don't see it as disrespectful, it's whatever they feel. For my DD, it doesn't matter where she places or anything about anyone around her. If she feels she did a good job and her best, it wouldn't matter if she was last place in every event, she would wear her medals the whole time and maybe even the whole day! But if she was angry with herself for not doing her best, she could place 1st on everything and those medals will go right in herbs local. It's her personality, not meant for disrespect but only her own feelings about what she did.

 

[gymbeam]

the medals are earned and in my opinion, there is no reason they shoudn't wear them with pride and without guilt. its never crossed my mind that they should take them off. i dont understand that at all. there are only so many to go around- when you enter a meet you know not everyone is going to get one- that's just the way it goes.

 

[profmom]

the medals are earned and in my opinion, there is no reason they shoudn't wear them with pride and without guilt. its never crossed my mind that they should take them off. i dont understand that at all. there are only so many to go around- when you enter a meet you know not everyone is going to get one- that's just the way it goes.

May I in the gentlest of terms hazard a guess that your gymnast does not have much experience in coming home from meets without any medals? "Just the way it goes" can be quite difficult to manage with grace, especially when you're still in the single digits agewise and you're on a team with girls who routinely come home from meets with trophies almost as big as they are.

I agree that pride in one's performance is completely fine and that no one should feel guilty or bad for placing well. There is, however, an art to managing those feelings alongside being kind to those who do not tend to get as much external validation for their performances. One of the things I appreciate most about both of my gymnasts' ways of competing is that they always comment positively on their teammates' substantive skill accomplishments and cheer them heartily when they make something that's been hard -- no matter where that individual teammate's bar for "hard" is.

But for those of you still in compulsories, don't worry. My sense is that a lot of this fuss and worry fades away over time, and the focus increasingly shifts to each athlete's individual expectations for her/himself. It becomes much easier for the girl who didn't medal to feel genuinely bad for the third place all arounder who had a bad day, and much easier for the third place all arounder to shout at the top of her lungs and dance in pure unalloyed joy because her teammate who won't come anywhere close to placing on beam stayed on and made her acro.

And just to be clear, my comment has nothing whatsoever to say about wearing or not wearing medals, which is to my view entirely beside the point.

 

[gymbeam]

prof, my comment WAS purely about wearing or not wearing medals. why give them out if a kid has to feel guilty for wearing them? sheesh.

ETA- for the record, she's had one season of being all over the place score wise and one where she was 1stAA in all but one meet. she's handled both with noting but grace. she is the epitome of humble and a team player. just want to make that known.

 

[gymdog]

My kids take them off at the end of awards. I don't really require it, but that's just what they do. It works for me because I think the end of awards is the appropriate time to take them off.

 

[roll123]

Oh how I hope to hear some medal clanking this year when DD starts competing.

 

[3gymgirls]

My girls don't get event medals except for at state. State is 50%+1 for events and 100% all-around. Other meets are 100% all-around and even ribbons stapled to the score card. Some meets have specific placement ribbons, and some just give a generic participation ribbon for each event. Event placing is usually written on the cards as well. I like that because even if they don't place well overall they usually at least have one good event.
Some girls keep theirs on for a whilw, and some don't. The more my kids accumulate, the less likely they are to keep them on as long.

 

[cbifoja]

On the thread about parents keeping score, one of the posters mentioned that she didn't know what the big deal was about why parents keep scores and I have to admit that before this thread, this wasn't even on my radar as a potential issue.

My DD has walked out with a chestful of medals and walked out bare necked. At no time did I ever think the girls who had medals were showing off or that they should be wearing them out of respect for their competitors. To me, if a child earns the medals and wishes to wear them, she should not feel guilty for doing so. She is learning to win with grace....important life lesson.

On the meets where my DD has walked out of meets with a naked neck, it's tough. It sucks. It stings. There were tears on the car ride home. But DD never thought her teammates or competitors were rubbing her losses in by wearing their medals. After a good night's sleep, she is happy that they won. She is learning to lose with grace...important life lesson.

My opinion is that if my child is hurt because of someone else's success, then that is something I need to work with one on one with my child rather than asking strangers to temper their joy/pride. As long as a winning child isn't exhibiting poor sportsmanship, it just isn't my place to try to change their reactions.

 

[GymnastMomX2]

My Dd has done both, I could care less. Her medals, she can either wear them or not.

 

[vbdb]

I'd be more concerned about my kid lording her achievement in a meet over her teammates than just wearing medals she earned fair and square and is proud of. I expect my DD to accept her placements with grace, medals or not and she's had meets where she got a handful of ribbons and no medals.
We watched a young girl refuse to shake the hand of the woman who was handing out ribbons to the kids who placed 4-8 in a meet this year and it showed her how terrible it looks to be so ungracious after a meet that doesn't go your way.

 

[l.c.o]

DD used to take them off pretty quickly, but never during the actual ceremony. She just said she hates the noise and how they feel around her neck.

That said, this year she's wearing them to eat afterwards and home for the first time. She is now at her original gym, and all girls are placing AA &/or earning multiple event medals. Totally unsure if there's any correlation? Maybe she's just outgrowing the aversion or realizing how fortunate she really has been.

Also, DD's first season she did quietly cry a couple of times when she didn't earn any awards. She's been lucky and hasn't had an "award-free" meet since that season, so I sometimes worry how she'll handle it come optionals.

 

[skschlag]

That is funny. D was taught early on by the older boys in the gym that you take the medal off and put it in your bag. You don't wear it up to the podium for the next medal. They say that way, if you get another one, it stands on its own each time (meaning that the most recent medal won is the center stage.) Most of the boys in our state/region take them off and put them in their bag if they have time. If not, I have even seen them take them off and put them in their pocket so as to show just one medal at a time on the podium. Not sure if there is any defined etiquette or not, but that is what happens more often that not around here.

For pictures after, many will then put them all on for the pictures, especially if there is a team trophy involved. Personally, I don't care either way. I do like how it looks on the podium for each event when the kiddos are wearing just the current medal, but it isn't something that gets me worked up

Now the kids that stand up before their name is called for first and start strutting to the podium, THAT will get me worked up

 

[Krystan]

Must be a regional thing? I've never seen anyone take medals off before leaving at my dd's meets over several years. My ds has his first meet next month; it'll be interesting to see what they do since it's never crossed my mind before.

 

[buttercup]

I wonder if it is a boy \ girl thing somewhat? Around here (at least for the boys) most pull them off after each event as well. This is what the guys that went through ahead of my DS did- and that's how the guys he compeates with do it.

 

[OwlGalLiz]

My DS competed level 4, and most of the boys kept theirs on and just about all the meets we went to.

 

[twinmomma]

Our gym has our kids take the medals off between event awards. So if they get a vault medal, they take it off when they sit down, and then go up and get a beam medal, etc... It's about the noise and not being boastful having a slew of them around your neck. After awards are over, many of them put them all back on for the team or friend photos.

Similarly, our team also will stay out on the floor until all competitors are done. Often there's one rotation that's behind the others and will still have girls competing. Our kids will stay to ensure they support the other athletes. I see both things as respect for the other competitors.

 

[beachgirl]

I never thought about this one way or another. Most of our compulsory meets, except for invitationals and state only give AA medals for the top half and ribbons for the events. I don't even know if my daughter keeps them on. One meet we went to last year my daughter said, "Look, that team is wearing all of their medals." I replied with something like, "Lots of girls like to keep their medals on." Then she pointed and I saw that the girls must have been wearing every medal they ever won. Now, that was strange.

 

[Bess]

Is it wrong that I have never thought about or noticed this one way or the other?