WAG Under pressure or not

[mOm2gymnast<3]

Okay, I think I'm going cgm!!! My dd just had a meet today. She came in last for her vault when usually, she gets higher score. All the other events, she didn't score as much as she's been scoring either. For this meet, I kinda just let her be and do her own thing without putting any pressure on her. I didn't say anything before meet to her and I think she performed okay. Not her best but just okay. What I noticed with her is that, if I put pressure on her, she performs better. I am not sure if pressuring her is okay or being laid back is not a right approach on her... I am kind lost.

 

[iwannacoach]

Being supportive, telling her to respect and support her team mates, believe in and respect her coaches, and noticing her hard work is about all you can do. Any more than that may lead to the first lost foothold on a slippery slope greased by the tears of every cgm to precede you.

 

[luvmygymdtr]

Ask her at which meet she had more fun. The meet you put pressure on her? or the one you let her do her own thing?

 

[vagymmomma]

Some meets the girls are just not themselves. Same with practices. Some great - some not so great. I can't personally imagine when a parent adding more pressure is helping, but maybe some kids need a little push. It couldn't hurt to ask as prior posters have said.

 

[Amusibus]

It's the coach's job to put pressure. in the big picture,
how important really is it for her to do gymnastics really well versus you having a good relationship with your daughter?

 

[gymgymgymnast08]

I think it was level 8 when we had this meet where the top X amount of gymnasts made finals and got to compete again the next day. My coach told me and one other girl on my team if we hit every event, we would make finals.
That pressure helped me, I hit every single event. My teammate however, got really nervous and messed up because our coach told her that. I didn't end up making finals but that is another story for another thread.

I think it really depends on the gymnast, but I usually did better with pressure. My mom never pressured me though, she always just said, "Have fun, do your best, and don't straddle the beam." The coach I had in my last few years never wanted to put pressure on anyone, but I would kind of force her to put pressure on me.

 

[Gymsanity]

Gotta love IWC! Good coaches know when it's time to turn up or turn down the fire on each child, it's an important part of what we do. As I've mentioned before, I'd rather pull on a chain than push on one, but we adapt to what we have to work with. Let the coaches do what they do best, which is to bring out the best in your child at competition, and you do what you do best, be a loving supportive parent no matter where your child finishes. Gymnastics only lasts for a short time, but handled properly, your relationship with your children will last a lifetime.

 

[iwannacoach]

Gotta love IWC! Good coaches know when it's time to turn up or turn down the fire on each child, it's an important part of what we do. As I've mentioned before, I'd rather pull on a chain than push on one, but we adapt to what we have to work with. Let the coaches do what they do best, which is to bring out the best in your child at competition, and you do what you do best, be a loving supportive parent no matter where your child finishes. Gymnastics only lasts for a short time, but handled properly, your relationship with your children will last a lifetime.

Nice having some good company gymsanity, so pull up a camp stool and roast a few marshmallows, and trade some fun gym stories.

Just had to add......... Many of us constructive coaches, and you know who you are, can put a tiny bit of pressure on just the right skill at just the right time....... and end up with a kid who's one step closer to being a gymnast.

 

[Kiwi]

Okay, I think I'm going cgm!!! My dd just had a meet today. She came in last for her vault when usually, she gets higher score. All the other events, she didn't score as much as she's been scoring either. For this meet, I kinda just let her be and do her own thing without putting any pressure on her. I didn't say anything before meet to her and I think she performed okay. Not her best but just okay. What I noticed with her is that, if I put pressure on her, she performs better. I am not sure if pressuring her is okay or being laid back is not a right approach on her... I am kind lost.

Well, I think it depends what you mean by pressure. Also, what is perceived as pressure can vary between individuals. What did you say to her (that you are calling pressure) those other times when she did better? Did you hassle her about doing well, or just encourage her to do her best? Have you talked to her about it and asked her how she prefers you to treat her before a meet?

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

Before yesterday's meet (meet 3 weeks ago and before that) I told her that she needs to do her best and that remember what her coach has been telling her. Also, some reminders about her form, legs, etc... Yesterday's meet, I never mentioned anything about gymnastics but said "you can do this!" And that to do her best. Somehow, I feel like I need to constantly tell her the things or she will forget. She's 6 btw. Not sure if that's really pressure or not but, tbh, I so tell her straighten your legs, or do this and do that. I know it's the coaches job but she only takes to the hc which wasn't there yesterday to coach her.

 

[gracyomalley]

If shes only 6 than I'd really lay off any pressure - other than "listen to your coach, behave and be nice with the other girls" etc....its fine to let her know that if she wants to score better (as in if she asks you why she didn't) that her legs need to be straight, etc...but don't offer the info - at that age she may not be able to feel that her legs are bent, much less remember to straighten them each time...its very much a work in progress. Some girls are born "tight" (DD was) and some learn with time (both my DS at 6 were all over the place - and the oldest now has fantastic form even as he learns giants on P bars, etc...it took maturation of his neuro system...not mommy telling him to straighten his legs).

I do think "pressure" to listen, work hard, do your best is fine even at this age - but other than that it should be all fun and an ice cream after the meet!

 

[iwannacoach]

I think kids evolve as they grow, and some help in the form of "this is what a meets for, this is what practice is for, and this is what play time is for," can be constructive. When offering direction it's important to remember how young these kids are, and that no matter how passionate a child may be about the sport, she still has the same needs as any other child her age......... maybe in different proportions or less frequently, but when they need them, they really need them.

Six year old kids need playmates and parents more than they need teachers and coaches. That's why there's are age requirement to go beyond the earliest levels in the usag program. IMO the required age is set to allow the more capable kids entry into those levels, rather than a de facto endorsement of "anything goes."

I don't think asking your child to do their best is uncommon, nor is it extreme, but in the long term scheme of things it is counter productive. How, for instance will a child remain healthy enough to do well when unable to share their failures and fears with a person who's always asked them not to have failures..... or fears.

Being there to listen and support them is a parents role. Praise and showing your admiration for their effort is all it takes to keep a child going if they really care to be do well as a gymnast. Leave the role of gymnastics mentor to the coach.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

Thank you everyone. Sometimes I get so caught up about winning and how much money we spent at the gym, and to compensate I feel like she needs to be on top. Its greedy and very tacky of me I think. I try really hard to put myself on her shoes and try very hard to just be there for her. At our gym I am surrounded by many CGM's and one particular is my dd's gym bff mom. I am not no where near how crazy she is but I can feel myself falling behind her. God forbid! I am praying and hoping not. I feel like gymnastics is a dog eat dog kinda sport. Is that bad? This mom would do anything to get her dd ahead of everyone, would tell her dd very loudly if she's doing something wrong (leg straight, etc). Would bribe her dd for things like American Girl dolls if she places 1st all around, etc... So far, seems to be working on her. She's not on my dd's age group, thank God! this girl is 7 going 8. But I know once they go to lv3 they will probably be competing against each other (im tippy toeing on how this is going to be) both girls are the highest scoring in our gym for lv 3. Deep inside me, I know my dd will probably not going to be good in lv3 because she is not as graceful. She's an explosive kind of gymnast if you know what I mean. She doesn't have the grace of a dancer.

 

[Sasha]

Deep inside me, I know my dd will probably not going to be good in lv3 because she is not as graceful. She's an explosive kind of gymnast if you know what I mean. She doesn't have the grace of a dancer.

I have had these exact worries when my DD started at age 6. She is also powerful and strong, but her teacher often describes her dance movements as like a robot(!). Not exactly graceful by nature. I was a bit worried the first few months I watched her do the ballet portion of class. I seriously wondered if this was the right sport for her. I blamed the husband for his non-graceful genes (I have always found dance rather easy with some natural grace, myself)...

BUT, she has matured a year since then, and is now 7.5. Her grace is improving. Her body has matured and limbs have lengthened. She almost resembles a dancer (a non-robotic one) in her best moments. I am so proud of her. And there is SO much further to go in gymnastics, that I am now at peace with the fact that, yes, other more graceful gymnasts may outshine (and outscore) her in the lower levels. But her strength, power, work ethic, and love for the sport will be the factors that matter much more as she moves up the levels. Someday her L3 scores will be just memories of a fond time when she was little and it was all so new. So I wish you to enjoy this precious time instead of stress

P.S. stressing about money is OK tho. I stress about that daily. LOL.

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

I limit the "pressure" to "do your best, but most importantly, HAVE FUN "

 

[luvmygymdtr]

At our gym I am surrounded by many CGM's and one particular is my dd's gym bff mom.

Find the moms that make you feel good about the sport. Do yourself a favor and stay far far far far away from the ones that don't. And be glad you don't have to buy an American Girl doll every time your daughter hits the podium.

 

[gracyomalley]

I agree with luvygymdtr...there have got to be some reasonable parents there...and gymnastics isn't always a "dog eat dog" world...or many of us would be gone by now! One of the best things about my kids being on teams for a few years now is how well all the parents support ALL the kids...sure, there are a few little "rivalries" among the kids, but they are downplayed by the parents. Years ago when DD first made it over the vault at L5 the whole team/parent group cheered..and last meet a lovely young lady who had been struggling with L8 bars made state and half of the bleacher crowd whooped it up for her...that's what its all about...and I think with few exceptions that attitude is actually more likely to produce both a good gymnast long term, and a pleasant, successful adult!

 

[aileenmaryf]

I think telling her to try her best, have fun, and listen to her coach are very good things to tell her, but things like pointing your toes and keeping your legs straight are more for the coaches to say. It might be just the parents I have experienced but all too often I hear parents telling their children things that would not be as helpful as what I would want to say to them. For example, if I have a kid who forgets to go hard into her tumbling passes, and then because she doesn't have very much power, has a harder time having good form. A parent might see this and say their gymnast needs to keep their legs straight, but sometimes simply running into the gymnast's passes harder can fix the problem. As a gymnast, my parents never put any pressure on me to do well in competitions and that was for the best. Way too many of my teammates' parents would be harsh on them when they didn't do well. The only thing that did was put them in a crappy attitude/mindset for the next three events. That bad mindset, made things even worse, and suddenly, one bad event turned into a bad meet.

 

[Kiwi]

If you are so worried about becoming a CGM, you very likely won't fall into that trap. A powerful gymnast is good, they can learn to be more graceful. Just keep encouraging and supporting her and as long as she is enjoying it and getting something out of it that's what matters. It is nice to get medals, but in my opinion, every gymnast that can get out there and do those skills is a winner.