Parents What Would You Do?

[MILgymFAM]

Gone, ghost, never look back.

 

[harobed.enac]

Yes, all.
This is for real.
I am sick over it and I am very upset.
I coach recreational there and some team and I would never think something like this would blatantly happen.
Yes, they are from the old era of gymnastics, and yes it is horrible.

We are locked in to competing this weekend but after that, I am sure that we will be looking into somewhere else.

I would still need my employment because I oversee a program there and would not want to leave the kids that I coach high and dry. I made certain to always keep my employment deprecate from my daughters program or whatever but this is reprehensible and I am not feeling good about the place anymore. I feel like I lost respect and faith in a program that has, until now, been very good.

I feel like I'm in a nightmare.

 

[harobed.enac]

What is the employer's position? Are they aware that they are violating safety practices? https://www.usagym.org/PDFs/Education/SafetyHandbook120715.pdf

I agree it is ridiculous.

I doubt very much that they read this book.
I did. But I'm sure ... no.

 

[harobed.enac]

Surely this is not for real.

I wish it wasn't.

 

[harobed.enac]

What is the employer's position? Are they aware that they are violating safety practices? https://www.usagym.org/PDFs/Education/SafetyHandbook120715.pdf

I agree it is ridiculous.

The employer is the owner.

 

[harobed.enac]

all of that is healthy and some of it is very low calorie. i don't know how many hours she is there working out and i'm assuming she's home schooled so does some school working during that time? IMO, that may not be *enough* food depending on how many hours she is working out. she needs to have enough energy to work out! she must be so hungry if she's working out that entire time.

my dd is starting up something similar next year. this year just one long day. last year she came in an extra day for a couple of hours. she goes in directly after school at 3 and comes home at 8:30 with a 1/2 hour to refuel. her coach told her she didn't have enough protein. so i talked to him and less fruit. i now pack a couple of pieces of ham, a cheese stick. 100% juice box. applesauce (no added sugar) and then a sugary snack that she usually eats after practice - a small packet of vanilla wafer type snack. sometimes there are pretzels and a choc chip granola bar. she eats ALL of it. whatever i send gets eaten - except this week the applesauce came home. that is for 5 1/2 hours. and she has a banana on the way. i will say those days she is not really hungry for dinner. so it's very small portions whatever she has. she is 9 and weighs between 50-60. she is still in 7/8 clothing. she is small boned like me. she's a little shorter than her classmates but not terribly. she's def going to be the shortest of my 3 kids.

that coach is an ***. and is going to cause those girls damage with body image. you must know that. are you ready to quit coaching there too?
if it were me, i'd talk to the coach first and tell him your feelings on his (or her) actions and insist it doesn't happen again. if that was scoffed at, then i'd leave.

they do take a break, and she does stay there because I must be there. She is fine with that part of it.

 

[harobed.enac]

We would not be in a gym like that. 10 plus hours in gym??? At 9 yrs old. Never Ever

My daughter is 4 ft 7 and 66 lbs. And she in now way has any "weight/size" issues.

You coach there??? And you are surprised????

I am stunned and scratching my head.

The workout time is not that long. and they have breaks as such. She does homeschooling, which she is doing very well. This was just out of the blue, so yes, I am a little stunned because she is small and works pretty hard. Funny thing is I usually pack more than that, but we got up late that day and had a big breakfast and I was in a rush. Normally I'd pack a few more things.

 

[harobed.enac]

thats totally unacceptable. even if the coach had a valid reason to be angry, that response could never be justified.
i'm sorry you've been put in this super tough position.
(and you may want to change your user name because it is pretty easy to figure out your gym, OP.)

ah, will do.

 

[sce]

Hi there,
This is my first time posting.
My daughter is a level 8 and is in an elite program.

Yesterday her coach dumped her lunch out on the floor in front of her teammates and had some others do the same.
She took a picture of her lunch and told her that she has too much and that the food she had would last her for a week.
She is at the gym from 1030am until 8pm (I coach so she has to stay extra until I'm done.)
She then pulled me aside and told me that I'm setting her up to be fat.

She is 9 years old, 4 foot 5 and 55 pounds. We are genetically small as it is.

I am appalled. This was her food for almost 12 hours yesterday:
Made from scratch pasta noodles that I make myself, peas, a small bag of pretzels, a small bag of almonds and cranberries, two protein bars (you know because she is there for nearly 12 hours) and cantaloupe.

I am really upset. I am a vegetarian and I pack nutritious and power-packed food.
Apparently this is not the first time something like this has happened.
I was told that some of her food was taken and eaten by the coaches also.

I am ready to pull her out of the program.

What would you do?

That is appalling and not a way to treat a child. Pull her now!

 

[bogwoppit]

Even if her lunch box was filled with twinkies they do not have the right to dump it on the floor and insult your child in public. WHat she eats is not their business, many coaches like to pretend they are MD's and nutritionists.

I have no problem with gyms running healthy eating programs and doing gymmie/parent nutritional education. But I have a huge problem with a coach doing what he did to your child. Stepped over the thin red line.

Run.

 

[TumbleTimes4]

I would talk to the coach to confirm this is what happened. I'm not suggesting that your daughter is lying, but sometimes kids can exaggerate situations. If this is what happened or even if the coach suggests unhealthy changes to her diet, then I would absolutely leave and find a healthy program.

But I think a conversation needs to take place with the coach and the owner of the gym.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Other than leaving now...
I would google the owners/head coaches of this gym, and see if possibly there's anything out there about their "techniques".
Like possibly previous elite gymnasts who might have spoken out about them, so you might be able to really see what might be down the road if you stay.

 

[gasrgoose]

1. Is this the first time this type of conduct has happened? I'm a believer that people can have a bad day. And I choose to judge people by the best moments not their worst.
2. Since you are an employee it's very complicated. Are you prepared to walk away?
3. Talk to the coach. And be prepared for what you will say and how you will react. Start slow and calm and ask for an explanation. But be prepared to let them have it if they aren't willing to admit fault (assuming there was fault)
4. Talk to your child. Tell them the conduct was not ok and you are willing to fight for them. Reinforce that they are loved and healthy and beautiful!

 

[gymbeam]

Other than leaving now...
I would google the owners/head coaches of this gym, and see if possibly there's anything out there about their "techniques".
Like possibly previous elite gymnasts who might have spoken out about them, so you might be able to really see what might be down the road if you stay.

good advice.

 

[duyetanh]

Other than leaving now...
I would google the owners/head coaches of this gym, and see if possibly there's anything out there about their "techniques".
Like possibly previous elite gymnasts who might have spoken out about them, so you might be able to really see what might be down the road if you stay.

Yes, but I would still pull my kid. Like yesterday.

 

[Sasha]

Unless the pasta you packed was gallon-sized, I think my skinny kid would eat all of that you mentioned by lunch. We would have to pack 3 times that for an 8 hour day. Yikes. Just so wrong.

And I agree with Bog - even if you gave her Twinkies and whole sticks of butter in her bag, dumping food on the floor and shaming a child is abusive.

Protect your child. Have whatever conversations you want with the coach/owner, listen to their side, but make yourself crystal clear that these tactics are in no way acceptable. If they are honestly remorseful, then perhaps there is a second chance opportunity here, but in my experience, this kind of tactic is just one example of what is probably a larger abusive philosophy that will manifest in other aspects of training. No elite goal in the world is worth trading your daughter's mental well-being.

Also, thank you for sharing so that others can be more aware of these types of scenarios.

 

[tuckfull]

Other than leaving now...
I would google the owners/head coaches of this gym, and see if possibly there's anything out there about their "techniques".
Like possibly previous elite gymnasts who might have spoken out about them, so you might be able to really see what might be down the road if you stay.

Please do this. I think you will quickly find the information you are looking for to determine if this is a pattern with your DD's coaches.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Please do this. I think you will quickly find the information you are looking for to determine if this is a pattern with your DD's coaches.

EXACTLY.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Hi there,
This is my first time posting.
My daughter is a level 8 and is in an elite program.

Yesterday her coach dumped her lunch out on the floor in front of her teammates and had some others do the same.
She took a picture of her lunch and told her that she has too much and that the food she had would last her for a week.
She is at the gym from 1030am until 8pm (I coach so she has to stay extra until I'm done.)
She then pulled me aside and told me that I'm setting her up to be fat.

She is 9 years old, 4 foot 5 and 55 pounds. We are genetically small as it is.

I am appalled. This was her food for almost 12 hours yesterday:
Made from scratch pasta noodles that I make myself, peas, a small bag of pretzels, a small bag of almonds and cranberries, two protein bars (you know because she is there for nearly 12 hours) and cantaloupe.

I am really upset. I am a vegetarian and I pack nutritious and power-packed food.
Apparently this is not the first time something like this has happened.
I was told that some of her food was taken and eaten by the coaches also.

I am ready to pull her out of the program.

What would you do?

I would have pulled her out already. There are other high level gyms in your area. You do not want her continuing to go there where she so criticized for eating healthy. She will definitely have a skewed idea of what eating healthy is if she stays there. This could result in lifelong problems. No gymnastics is worth that.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

http://www.wogymnast.com/2016/03/mckayla-maroney-mentally-my-coaches.html