WAG Competition nerves

[Scottish Caitlyn]

Hi guys and girls, I'm new here, my 8yr old daughter is a gymnast and swimmer so is very active and therefore healthy as well.

Anyway, my first post is regarding a competition that she was competing in with her group at the weekend.

The competition didn't go well, she felt like she lost her team the competition but all her team told her that it was a team effort so they were all to blame. Anyway, when we got home, she threw her gear on the floor, ran upstairs crying hysterically whilst shouting out loudly, "I'm useless".

It was so hard for me to hear that so, what could I have done differently in order to prevent the full blown tantrum ?

 

[moogacat]

Poor sweet girl! I don't think you could have done anything differently. This is just a hard reality of the sport, and I think it's kind of natural for most of us to want to blame ourselves because we can "control" ourselves, whereas other competitors' performance is out of our control. This is a hard lesson for an older kid or even an adult, much less an eight year old. With more experience and competition she should be able to put it in perspective in a more productive way. Just keep the focus on the fact that its the whole team's performance that matters, like you did, and give her a little room to learn how to deal with the disappointment.

 

[Jard.the.gymnast]

Some kids are just hard on themselves. Some also don't quite know how to handle emotions like that at that age yet. I was one of those kids. Even if I messed up a little (getting A B on a test for example), I would hate myself and punch my head as hard into the wall as I could.

My parents gave me a ball that I could throw into the wall instead. And now I'm mostly over it. Sometimes I still don't quite know how to handle myself, but I don't hurt myself in the process anymore.

Talk to her about it. Not this occasion in general, but more of a 'how to manage disappointment in yourself' type of thing. Because it will come back in all areas of life, not just school and gymnastics.

 

[Really]

With a kid like yours, I'd try to de-emphasize the medals and placements. Set goals around specific skills in her own routines ("At this meet, I want to stick my bar dismount; I want to hold my handstand for the full 3 seconds, etc) as well as behavior goals around sportsmanship ("No matter how we place, I will shake the other competitors hands on the podium and congratulate everyone on a job well done.") Make it clear that the skill/routine goals are just to keep her progressing in the sport, but as long as she meets the behavior goals around sportsmanship, you as a parent consider everything about the meet a success.

 

[_gym_wolf_]

That happened to me once...if I ever feel like that, I want my parents to offer their support but overall give me some time alone. Chances are she was just tired/hungry/etc. so it will pass. Sometimes kids (especially that age) don't understand as well as older girls. I would just give it time.

 

[_gym_wolf_]

With a kid like yours, I'd try to de-emphasize the medals and placements. Set goals around specific skills in her own routines ("At this meet, I want to stick my bar dismount; I want to hold my handstand for the full 3 seconds, etc) as well as behavior goals around sportsmanship ("No matter how we place, I will shake the other competitors hands on the podium and congratulate everyone on a job well done.") Make it clear that the skill/routine goals are just to keep her progressing in the sport, but as long as she meets the behavior goals around sportsmanship, you as a parent consider everything about the meet a success.

I 100% agree. this will help calm her down (at least it worked for me)