WAG Fear on beam

[eves lane]

Hi this is my first post so bear with me. My dd is 5 years old and on a pre development team. She has beautiful lines, good form and good strength and flexibility. She has always been a very determined little girl but is quite shy around others. However, she can be quite fearful especially on beam. She moves slowly and cautiously but is precise in her moves. She is now becoming quite upset that her coaches are now referring to her as a 'scaredy cat!' Is it just me or is this a little harsh for a 5 year old? She's not overly fearful and is not one to give up on things. Are they just trying to be tactful?

 

[Sarah_the_gymnast]

The way most coaches know to motivate is to do that. I personally wouldn't do that, but I can see some coaches doing that. If you want her to be less scared you can have her run through the routine as fast as possible, then she will go faster when she goes back to normal. Worked for me

 

[cadybearsmommy]

A scaredy cat at 5? It doesn't seem like the best way to motivate a 5 year old. Most kids that age that are at the preteen level are timid on the high beam. They just have to get used to it and build confidence. I think it might be worth it to let the coaches know that they are upsetting her and rather than motivating her they could even be hindering her progress. Gymnastics should be fun at 5 not stressful.

 

[eves lane]

A scaredy cat at 5? It doesn't seem like the best way to motivate a 5 year old. Most kids that age that are at the preteen level are timid on the high beam. They just have to get used to it and build confidence. I think it might be worth it to let the coaches know that they are upsetting her and rather than motivating her they could even be hindering her progress. Gymnastics should be fun at 5 not stressful.

 

[eves lane]

Yes I think I'll have a little word. She loves gymnastics and her coaches and I would hate for this to put her off.

 

[Splash123]

Unfortunately, as a coach I see this more often than I would like to. Even within my own club. Some coaches are almost too laid back, others are all about the pressure and comments such as "scaredy cat" I've even heard one coach at my club tell a young (8/9 yo) gymnast that "trying isn't good enough. You have to actually do it".

So yes, the best thing to do would be to calmly ask the coach if you can talk to him/her before a practice and say that your dd got a bit upset about beam and briefly explain her pov

 

[duyetanh]

I remember how excited my kid was at 5, because she finally got to go on the high beam a mere one time a week for a few minutes. If she had been called a scaredy cat, that would have been devastating....because she is a very tentative kid. Who honestly does the best she can on that 4 inch apparatus. Even now at times it is a struggle, but she presses on....yes talk to the coach. Better to bring it up now, so you can avoid beam demons later (trust me you will have enough of them anyway, so one less is a big deal, bahaha). Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I don't know the coach or your child or their relationship, so maybe it would be worth a chat.

But my gut reaction is new coach/gym. Because tactful and scaredy cat really don't belong in the same sentence. If it's this at 5 what would it be at 8, 12 or 15?

 

[MinnieGymMom]

At my daughters gym, her head coaches are quite tough, they have called my 7 year old lazy and have screamed at my 12 year old and made her cry. I have heard then call other little girls brats! But I don't really disapprove of this too much because its all part of discipline and care, all good things from good coaches. Maybe have a chat with her coach and suggest that your child is sensitive to this and may not like the names. Thanks!

 

[cadybearsmommy]

At my daughters gym, her head coaches are quite tough, they have called my 7 year old lazy and have screamed at my 12 year old and made her cry. I have heard then call other little girls brats! But I don't really disapprove of this too much because its all part of discipline and care, all good things from good coaches. Maybe have a chat with her coach and suggest that your child is sensitive to this and may not like the names. Thanks!

Calling young girls lazy and brats are good things? From good coaches?
I'm sorry but I just don't get it. I can't imagine ever sitting back and letting my children be treated this way. I don't care how talented and amazing the coaches are, tearing down young gymnasts will only serve to make them scared and eventually hate the sport one day and certainly not motivate them.

 

[amiandjim]

Calling children names is not discipline!!!

 

[coachmolly]

I don't even make my girls get on the full height competition beam at that age. Some of them willingly choose to get up there, but the others just get on a slightly lower high beam for the basics (walks, kicks, releve holds, pivot turns). When we get to "scarier" stuff- jumps, levers for handstands, turns- they are allowed to move down to an even lower beam. It's just not worth pushing it at that age. Just getting up there at all is a big deal for little ones.
Did you hear the coach call her a "scaredy cat?" Perhaps she thought she was just being silly and cute and did not realize the implications of her comment? This is especially possible if it's a younger coach who doesn't realize how some comments can be perceived by little ears. It doesn't make it any more acceptable, but a chance to speak with the coach and educate her about the power of her words. Maybe just make a comment about how your daughter came home upset about being called a name, not from a point of judgement but rather information seeking. It could be a good learning moment for the coach. And absolutely something you should keep an eye on!
However, name calling is not something to messed around with, so I would keep eyes and ears open to make sure there isn't a pattern. Pop in to watch practices, maybe even watch some of the older athletes in the gym to see how they are being coached.

 

[eves lane]

Thankyou for all the comments, much appreciated. I don't think that her coaches intended to upset her and to be honest I think it hit a nerve more with me than my daughter. I'm sure when I explain that she was a bit upset that it won't happen again. She is desperate to get back to gym after the Christmas holidays so hopefully no harm done if discussed now.

 

[Mish]

Name calling in the name of "good coaching" is not acceptable. If your child's school teacher, piano teacher, math tutor, whatever, called your child these names, even if they were a brilliant teacher, it would not be acceptable. It amazes me how much is tolerated because it is "GYMNASTICS". Seriously. People get so caught up in the hype that they become blind to the damage that can be done. My 9.0 was called a name twice in the name of "motivation" (she is a very hard worker to begin with), and she still talks about it. That said, I told her to move on, but you can bet that my radar is definitely up. Sometimes coaches who are on the young side do not realize the impact on these young girls. Also many of them received this type of training. Whatever the case, I don't think it should EVER be the case with a 5 y.o just getting their feet wet. Hearing more and more about the toughness at such a young age. Parents and coaches with stars in their eyes losing sight of the child.

 

[eves lane]

No matter how talented I thought my child to be, her emotional well-being, happiness and safety will always come first. I will never lose sight of that.

 

[duyetanh]

Name calling in the name of "good coaching" is not acceptable. If your child's school teacher, piano teacher, math tutor, whatever, called your child these names, even if they were a brilliant teacher, it would not be acceptable. It amazes me how much is tolerated because it is "GYMNASTICS". Seriously. People get so caught up in the hype that they become blind to the damage that can be done. My 9.0 was called a name twice in the name of "motivation" (she is a very hard worker to begin with), and she still talks about it. That said, I told her to move on, but you can bet that my radar is definitely up. Sometimes coaches who are on the young side do not realize the impact on these young girls. Also many of them received this type of training. Whatever the case, I don't think it should EVER be the case with a 5 y.o just getting their feet wet. Hearing more and more about the toughness at such a young age. Parents and coaches with stars in their eyes losing sight of the child.

YES!

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Name calling in the name of "good coaching" is not acceptable. If your child's school teacher, piano teacher, math tutor, whatever, called your child these names, even if they were a brilliant teacher, it would not be acceptable. It amazes me how much is tolerated because it is "GYMNASTICS". Seriously. People get so caught up in the hype that they become blind to the damage that can be done. My 9.0 was called a name twice in the name of "motivation" (she is a very hard worker to begin with), and she still talks about it. That said, I told her to move on, but you can bet that my radar is definitely up. Sometimes coaches who are on the young side do not realize the impact on these young girls. Also many of them received this type of training. Whatever the case, I don't think it should EVER be the case with a 5 y.o just getting their feet wet. Hearing more and more about the toughness at such a young age. Parents and coaches with stars in their eyes losing sight of the child.

Amen!!!

 

[gymgal]

Hi this is my first post so bear with me. My dd is 5 years old and on a pre development team. She has beautiful lines, good form and good strength and flexibility. She has always been a very determined little girl but is quite shy around others. However, she can be quite fearful especially on beam. She moves slowly and cautiously but is precise in her moves. She is now becoming quite upset that her coaches are now referring to her as a 'scaredy cat!' Is it just me or is this a little harsh for a 5 year old? She's not overly fearful and is not one to give up on things. Are they just trying to be tactful?

I think only you can really answer this based on what you have seen and heard them talk to the girls. I can easily see a coach saying "no reason to be a scaredy cat! - you can do this!!" in an encouraging tone. But I could also see a coach using that term in a very negative tone, which I would not allow to continue to happen.

 

[Mish]

No matter how talented I thought my child to be, her emotional well-being, happiness and safety will always come first. I will never lose sight of that.

I wasn't referring to you losing sight, I just meant people in general. I hope you didn't think I was talking about you!