WAG Severe State Meet anxiety

[BarCoach]

Got an email from one of my parents last night that her daughter has not been herself for about the past week. She is unable to sleep and is really stressed out about States this weekend. I've noticed a difference in practice too. What can I do to help her?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

nothing. all you can tell them that it is just another meet and stay calm. eventually they get it.

 

[Amber]

I would just lean her towards it not being the "biggest" meet, but the "last" meet. Almost like an exhibition of what they've learned all year to show their parents. My DD also gets worried, so I try to redirect her. I often tell her that the audience is all parents, and they want all the kids to do well. Every competitor is someone's DD. Remind her that after this meet is summer uptraining, new levels, new skills. Good luck.

 

[Amber]

Although that is advice for the younger girls. Don't know how old this girl is ...

 

[coachmolly]

Yeah, I'd say just painting it as another meet. Let her known she's already proven herself at x level and this is just one more opportunity to show off her skills and routines before they change in a few months (or before she moves on to the next level depending on your plan for her). It doesn't define her season or all of her hard work, just a fun way to celebrate getting a good enough score to qualify to states.
Meet anxiety is the pits, hopefully she can work her way through it and be confident by the time states rolls around.

 

[mariposa]

I tell my daughter that states is just another meet. And at meets, I've always told her that placements and scores are just a reflection of what you did that day compared to what other gymnasts did on that day, not a reflection of you as a gymnast. Sometimes you hit all 4, sometimes you don't. Celebrate when you do and find things to celebrate when you don't, too.

I've noticed through the years though that she gets the most stressed from things coaches say in week before the meet and especially when scores are discussed or emphasized. I can't control that, just can try to counteract it a bit with my attitude.

I know from being a mom to a competitive gymmie for the past 4 years that some coaches tend to get more wound up before states, perhaps it is the overall attitude in the gym going into states that has this kiddo worked up.

 

[catou]

Tell her you are proud of her no matter what. That you're proud of all the efforts she puts in training. In competition, she only has less than four minutes in front of a judge. So a score, is really only the score for that moment. It doesn't define who she is as a gymnast. Try not to focus on scores or ranks, ask her to find objectives in terms of completion of a skill or achievements in terms of height in certain skills for example.

You can also help her verbalize her anxiety... Is she stressed because of the judges, because she wants to make her parents/ proud? Once you have that answer, you'll be able to help her in a more personalized way.

 

[Empowered]

I am with Dunno on this one. If she is like my daughter, honestly nothing anyone can say will make a difference.


My daughter chokes at States, period. It's just another meet, it's just another day, it just doesn't matter, we love you and we're still proud of you... She walks in that gym to a state meet and it's like another child showed up. I mean honestly who has a low score of 36 during season and walks into States and scores a 33?


But as her coach said, you can't talk her past it, you can't coach her past it. She's got to work past it in her own mind. Eventually maturity, determination, pride... something will kick in internally and help her move past this, but again if she's like my daughter... talking just makes it worse.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Ok, at what point do they grow out of it? My L7 is still getting worked up. She does it every time! I am trying to talk her down right now in preparation of this weekends states, but I don't know if I am helping at all. Emphasizing that it is not the last meet of her career, just her last meet as a 12 year old I think made an impact... not sure though. I guess I will know this weekend if she has worked through it.

 

[wizzie]

I run track and cross country, and will continue to do both of those after I start gymnastics. When we are doing sprint repeats, on our last rep our coach always says "last one, best one!" That always motivates me and my teammates to give our all on that last sprint. She says that for our last meet of the season, too. It has always helped me to do my best. I think of it as a chance to make a LASTing impression on everyone.

 

[BarCoach]

Thanks everyone. Some great advice, much of which I'll use. She's only 8, and I'm not sure where the pressure comes from, but possibly her mom. I'll talk her through it and she'll take what she can from it, but I have to try. Her practice tonight was a little better than Monday's. The atmosphere in the gym is definitely high stress. As much as I've been trying to emphasize how far the kids have come, how ready they are, how confident they should be, my co-coach is still emphasizing winning at states and making no mistakes. We'll just have to train our hardest and hope for the best I guess.

 

[catou]

Yeah, parents can make their kids stress, even if it's not intended.

I remember very clearly the first time I felt stress. I had a stomach ache and a competition 2 or 3 days later. When I told my dad about it, he asked me if it was because I was stressed. In my head, at that time, I wasn't stressed. I just had a stomach ache. Now, when I think about that one little sentence, I think I perceived at that time it as if I was supposed to be stressed...

Since then, I was a big mess in the week leading to a competition, and was never really good in coping with stress. I was having trouble sleeping, concentrating in school and if I had a bad training... watch out. I learned to deal with it with time. Now the stress is different, I've found what's helping me. I visualize, take baths, exercise... Your gymnast should be able to do the same with time.

Maybe you could talk with your co-coach about the emphasis he/she puts on winning.