WAG Team Sleepovers at Coach's House?

[Faolmor]

They have them at DD's GYM...never at the coach's house!!

 

[Hollowarchkick]

Wouldn't put myself in that position. No way, no how...nooooo!

 

[peginer]

Not in a million years and I like my DD's coach. Not a good idea to put himself in that position either. Too many bad stories, not worth it.

 

[eucoach]

If you let your child sleepover at a friend's place with both parents there (married or unmarried), then letting her go to this team sleepover should not be an issue.

However - I do not think it is a good idea at all for a coach to organize a team sleepover at his/her place. Whether he is straight, gay, lives alone or with someone else, is 20 or 70 years old. Bonding can be achieved through so many activities, a sleepover is not necessary. I am a coach and I would not want my gymnasts to "invade" my privacy.

I do go on a training camp with my gymnasts (10-16 gymnasts, 2-3 coaches) without any parents there (gymnasts room together, coaches have their own rooms).

 

[Aussie_coach]

No way would I ever allow that!

Why not just have a sleepover at the gym.

 

[Sari]

A good friend coaches a group of older girls (14+) and has had several sleepovers at her house for those kids. But they're a really close-knit group and said friend also only turned 21 yesterday. In that case, I have no icky feelings towards what she's doing.

Now I don't understand why you'd even WANT a bunch of gymnasts over at your house, lol. I'd find that way too stressful. And would never EVER consider it under regular circumstances, especially with the age range I'm (for the most part anyway) coaching.

 

[Shooosh]

I wouldn't allow it. I would suggest the gym or even offer up my own house. I understand that it's not a ton different that sending your child to a friends house where a mom and dad would be present, but it's the authority a coach holds over a gymnast that makes it tough. I'm sure it's totally innocent but not worth the risk. If I was the coach, I'd worry more about the risk to ME than to the gymnast!
Only one kid has to suggest something sketchy and put that together with a sleepover at a coaches home and you have big problems.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

It is crazy to myself but I have heard of it happening before and the justification was that the coach was married, really... you think that makes a difference?. Personally I would never go there, I don't want the crazy parents knowing where I live!

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

My dd had gym sleepovers at her previous gym with lots of supervision. When i was a teen and figure skating we had a yearly sleepover at our coach's house as well as a weekend away at her cottage up north in the off season.

I try to imagine in my mind any of the male coaches at dd's gym attempting to host all the girls for a sleepover and i can't even, lol.

Bu if they tried i would probably say no.

 

[sportsmommy]

I wouldn't think twice about my DD spending the night with her coach. She has coached my DD for 7 years. When my dd was younger and had day practices, her coach would babysit until I got off work. However, I can see why in other circumstances it would throw red flags. It is a shame that in today's society, you cant trust people. So many bad things can happen and have happened. When I was a kid, i had teachers who had sleepovers. That wouldnt happen now.

 

[raenndrops]

Very bad idea. Even for a female coach in my opinion. I would say no. Sleepover at gym with some parent chaperones or staff would be good option.

We can't do one at our gym because we only have access specific days and times. We were going to try to have a sleepover at the local YMCA, but the thought of strangers coming in at 5am when they reopened made us uncomfortable so we didn't do it.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Like others have said, I think it's crossing a line and setting the gym and the coach up for a lot of unneccessary risk. I agree that it being a male coach is what makes the risk too high, and I would have way less of a problem if it was a female coach (ideally hosting the party w/ no boyfriend, husband, etc. sleeping over too).

We have strict rules at our gym that prevent situations where inappropriate things could happen (or be insinuated to happen) - for example, coaches are not allowed to do private lessons w/ gymnasts alone in the gym - if the private is at a time before classes are going on, a parent must stay and watch (you are told this when scheduling). Also, no coach is allowed to coach a class if they are the only coach/gym employee in the gym - there must be 2 employees on staff and aware of what's going on on the floor anytime classes are in session (it's probably for safety reasons too I'm sure). There have been cases where the first class of the day has to wait until a second coach/front desk worker shows up before it can go out because of this rule.

I think the only way our gym would allow such a thing as a team sleepover would be at the gym with multiple coaches present, and perhaps several parent chaperones too.

 

[Texasmomof3]

I would be shocked that one of the coaches wanted even more time with the girls, but I wouldn't have a problem with a team sleepover at the coach's house at all. But then I have 11 girls coming home with us after the meet next weekend for a team sleepover at our house. And yes, my dh will be home. As will dd's older, teenaged brother.

 

[BachFlyer]

I'll join the JUST. NO. camp.

 

[Faith]

No.

Do you have to do safeguarding in the US? Here every coach has do take a course before they can register as a coach. This would be no no no no. We're not allowed to have gymnasts phone numbers, be personal friends on Facebook etc, give lifts, or in any way interact with gymnasts outside of gym without their parents or a club chaperone.

This is against every rule. The coaches needs to protect themselves, as well as the girls. Report it to your gym.

This type of thing is also not unknown as a way of gaining access to one child alone- making them feel safe as part of a group.

 

[bogwoppit]

No.

Do you have to do safeguarding in the US? Here every coach has do take a course before they can register as a coach. This would be no no no no. We're not allowed to have gymnasts phone numbers, be personal friends on Facebook etc, give lifts, or in any way interact with gymnasts outside of gym without their parents or a club chaperone.

This is against every rule. The coaches needs to protect themselves, as well as the girls. Report it to your gym.

This type of thing is also not unknown as a way of gaining access to one child alone- making them feel safe as part of a group.

Does not exist in the U.S..

 

[Aussie_coach]

A good friend coaches a group of older girls (14+) and has had several sleepovers at her house for those kids. But they're a really close-knit group and said friend also only turned 21 yesterday. In that case, I have no icky feelings towards what she's doing.

Now I don't understand why you'd even WANT a bunch of gymnasts over at your house, lol. I'd find that way too stressful. And would never EVER consider it under regular circumstances, especially with the age range I'm (for the most part anyway) coaching.

I actually think it is even worse that the coach is so young. With her being so close in age to the group there are going to be certain points where the lines of authority and blurred, and having the kids over for sleepovers will make the problem significantly worse.

Being accused of in appropriate behaviour is just one of the problems a sleepover At the coache house could cause. Over familiarity is another one. Yiu wouldn't see a school teacher having her students over for a sleepover.

 

[sce]

Does not exist in the U.S..

Wish it did though.

 

[notthatmom]

Just think of it this way, if you saw a news article that said "gymnasts assaulted during sleepover at their coach's house"
Your first gut reaction would be "why would any parent let their kid sleep over at their coaches house?!?"

It doesn't matter if it's a male or female, married or unmarried, or even if they have kids...Its inappropriate because it's their coach, plain and simple.


Have the sleepover at the gym with plenty of chaperones, or do dinner somewhere...find a team building activity elsewhere. Not at the coaches house. No. No. No.

 

[needcoffee]

Ummm no way.

We have had a sleepover at the gym, not just DDs group though, it was everyone level 4 and up. I was comfortable with that. No male coaches.

If I heard of a male coach hosting a sleepover at his house, my spidey senses would be tingling. As un PC as it is, I would feel different about a female coach though.