WAG State meet extreme nerves

[MinnieGymMom]

My dds have state meet this weekend, they are both eager to please, type A, perfectionists. My younger one is extremely nervous for the meet and she keeps saying "What if i don't make regionals?" "What if I fall" and i keep telling her "You've gotten 36.8 plus at all your meets this season!!!"
Tonight when I picked her up from gym I asked how practice was and he started crying! I asked what was wrong and she said "Theres only one more practice until states" how do I help her calm down so she can perform to her best ability? The things I keep telling her aren't working

 

[CoachAlex]

I don’t have kids so this is as a coach - I tell my girls to focus on all the times they did a skill RIGHT - think about how many time they hit their routines because chances are, by this point in the season, they are making the majority of their routines in practice.

Always focus on what she CAN do and all the times she did it the way she was supposed to.

Also, my dad used to tell me that being nervous is good - it means you care about what you are about to do. And because it’s states (and I’m guessing she is a level 8/9/10 because of regionals) she might be nervous - but there is excited-nervous and scared-nervous. She is probably excited-nervous which is ok.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[profmom]

Dial it back big time.

Turn it back on her. "What will happen if you don't make regionals?" The right answer to this question is that, whether she makes regionals or not, Monday morning will come, she'll get up in the morning, and later that day, she'll go back to practice. As long as she stays in one piece, nothing bad can happen as a result of a meet. She may just not get to have something really good happen (going to regionals). She should be expecting to do in a meet what she does in practice. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

[duyetanh]

Dial it back big time.

Turn it back on her. "What will happen if you don't make regionals?" The right answer to this question is that, whether she makes regionals or not, Monday morning will come, she'll get up in the morning, and later that day, she'll go back to practice. As long as she stays in one piece, nothing bad can happen as a result of a meet. She may just not get to have something really good happen (going to regionals). She should be expecting to do in a meet what she does in practice. Nothing more and nothing less.

This

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Embrace the stress and use it

 

[MinnieGymMom]

I don’t have kids so this is as a coach - I tell my girls to focus on all the times they did a skill RIGHT - think about how many time they hit their routines because chances are, by this point in the season, they are making the majority of their routines in practice.

Always focus on what she CAN do and all the times she did it the way she was supposed to.

Also, my dad used to tell me that being nervous is good - it means you care about what you are about to do. And because it’s states (and I’m guessing she is a level 8/9/10 because of regionals) she might be nervous - but there is excited-nervous and scared-nervous. She is probably excited-nervous which is ok.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Thank you!!! Ps. She's a level 7

 

[reluctant]

Dial it back big time.

Turn it back on her. "What will happen if you don't make regionals?" The right answer to this question is that, whether she makes regionals or not, Monday morning will come, she'll get up in the morning, and later that day, she'll go back to practice. As long as she stays in one piece, nothing bad can happen as a result of a meet. She may just not get to have something really good happen (going to regionals). She should be expecting to do in a meet what she does in practice. Nothing more and nothing less.

Totally. And don't talk about scores. Ever. talk about what she thought she did/does well. These kids really really really do not need to tie up their sense of self in how well they perform at a meet.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Our coaches tell us parents to not treat it any different then any other meet. It is just a meet. They are expected to do their best at any meet, states, regionals no different.

Focus them on skills and successes. Have they fallen before, what happened? Did the world end? No. Did they have to give up gymnastics? No. So they don't make regionals? Making regionals is nice but are their accomplishments and skills any less? No

Me my kid recovers from fall well. I focus on that. I tell her you will do what you always so. Picking yourself up, shake it off and keep going. Its an awesome trait to have.

And then make a non gymnastic plan to just celebrate the end of a successful seaon, no matter how states goes, regionals or not. For my kid its ice cream. Yours, pizza, a sleep over, favorite burger joint. Whatever. Focus on whole, not one week, meet..... etc...................

 

[Natasha]

My dds have state meet this weekend, they are both eager to please, type A, perfectionists. My younger one is extremely nervous for the meet and she keeps saying "What if i don't make regionals?" "What if I fall" and i keep telling her "You've gotten 36.8 plus at all your meets this season!!!"
Tonight when I picked her up from gym I asked how practice was and he started crying! I asked what was wrong and she said "Theres only one more practice until states" how do I help her calm down so she can perform to her best ability? The things I keep telling her aren't working

Downplay and perspective. Great advice above to turn it back to her. Also, acknowledge that yes, if she doesn't make it she may feel sad and that it is okay and normal to feel sad if that happens AND life will continue and she will be okay and if she continues in gymnastics there will be more regionals and many more meets with something on the line. It sounds like she has had a very successful season if she has scored that well at every meet so she may really be struggling with the pressure to continue the 'streak' and needs to know that EVERYONE sometimes has a bad meet- sometimes that bad meet happens at an unfortunate time, but life goes on and there will be future meets. Even Olympians fall at the Olympics and live through it.
I think it is also hard for us as parents- we know how hard they work all year long and it is heartbreaking when that hard work doesn't pay off (in the way we want it to) in those critical moments. Over the years I can tell you my dd has learned more from the heartbreaks than the successes.

 

[sce]

I return the what if questions to my kids. As they think about it and answer for themselves it helps them calm down and see that the world won't end. They may be dissapointed but then they will move on to the next step.