Parents daughter too intense at meets

[ValleyGymMom]

I need advice on helping my daughter learn to relax at competitions. She loves competing and absolutely lives for gymnastics. She is 15, a fun, cheerful, kind of goofy girl with a charming personality. However...at meets she becomes a different person. She is so serious. I think too serious. She is extremely hard on herself and makes the smallest mistake seem like a huge thing. For instance...at our season opener this past weekend she placed first on floor and third on vault. She landed two nice yurchenkos the very first time she ever competed them. All she could think of was how she crashed on her warm up for vault...not the actual vaults that she performed quite nicely. She missed a giant on bars but performed a beautiful straddle back, again the first time in competition. She simply can't let herself see the good things. She eventually gets over it but it upsets us so much to see the disappointment on her face. We give her encouragement but never push her. We let her know we are proud of her no matter what. Her coaches have told her to calm down as well. How can we help her to relax more?

 

[bookworm]

I don't think you can "help her relax" because that's just how she is at this point. In my daughter's gym, there are kids that are cool as cucumbers and others that are wound so tight at meets , you swear they'll break...but that's just how they are and it seems to work for them.

For your daughter, it seems to work for her as she is doing the skills when she gets into the meets ....if she were so anxious that she couldn't even compete, that would be a different issue but maybe a little anxiety gives her a little edge when she competes.

 

[mariposa]

Have you checked out Doc Ali's Headgames website. It isn't just for fear. I think her Athlete Warrior stuff might help your daughter. Sounds like anything related to positive thinking might help, too. She gets stuck in the negative and fails to see the positive. Even her Mental Toughness stuff would be great for her.


Athlete Warrior Part 1/2
Headgames
Headgames

Doc Ali's store with Athlete Warrior and Mental Toughness stuff
Headgames

Good luck. Wish I had some actual advice, but I don't. I do think that learning to think positive is a great life skill though.