WAG Fears

[MaryA]

My 11-year-old level 7 is struggling with some fears. Specifically her BHS on high beam (it's beautiful and consistant on low beam) and bars (bars in general, giants and lay-out fly-aways in particular). She has a great attitude about it, always comes out of practice happy, coach says she's a hard worker. I guess I just need some of those warm, comforting posts that I always leave when someone starts a "when will Suzie start kipping?" thread.

I don't need suggestions on how to help her with her back handspring or whatever, because I do trust her coaches, and would never feel qualified to make suggestions to her or (especially) her coach... "Well, this coach on Chalk Bucket told me you should try..." I try not to mention it to DD at all. Celebrate the successes and otherwise just be generally supportive. I have vowed not to use the words "squat on" with my daughter even once this season (the bain of her level 5 and level 6 existance, and then she missed it at the mock meet a couple of weeks ago... ugh!).

I do "know" she will get it (the logical part of my brain knows this). She always does. But is it all about overcoming fear from here on out? Is that what optionals is? Just overcoming one fear after another? Is it because she's older (my over-the-hill 11-year-old) or because she's approaching puberty and her body is changing? Will things get easier (less scary) again, or is this just the reality of gymnastics, from here on out? And if so, WHY IS THIS FUN????

I know Dunno's go-to reason is "it's vestibular" but if you can do a skill on the low bar but not the high bar, it can't be vestibular, can it? The giants could be, I guess. But she has a beautiful lay-out on floor, and a perfectly respectable tucked fly-away, so I wouldn't think that the lay-out fly-away would be vestibular either. Just scary.

Thanks in advance...

 

[gym monkeys mom]

Eventually over time she will get it you are right. All kids are different amnd so is the timing and comfort level of getting skills.
My DD was 12 yrs old at level 7 and struggled with giants for 3 consistant years(2 at 7 one year at 8) mastered them each year!!

Once they hit pre puberty tween type age they grow a bit and realize they are not invincable it does affect their gymnastics. Just give her hugs ans support and if she want something to read or if you do go to Doc Ali's web page (www.headgames.ws) she is fabulous. DD has done her web camp I highly reccomend it it gave her skills she needed to over come her fears sucessfully.

Optionals is a different ball game from hereon out I am sorry to say. Most days the joys of going to a meet to see your daughter overcome her fears and have sucess is where it is all at. . Medals are just cing on the cake so to speak. Dont get me wrong they will have sucess but you are just pruod they can do what they struggled with. A mom of a Level 9 put it well on here when she said I am happy to go home with 4 events done and no inuries!!

Many days I am unsure why they love it so but they all do and my DD has had struggles but i guess life is that way and she has learned to conquer her fears!!

Good luck to you and your DD it will be ok hang tough!!

 

[gardenia01]

I don't have any great advice as my dd is only a level ahead of yours and I'm sure she will have many more fears to overcome. I imagine that at least part of the bhs on high beam fear is related to your dd's age. My dd just turned 11 a couple of days ago, but she has been doing bhs on beam since she was 7 or 8. I know at that age it doesn't phase most kids, but as they get older the fear does creep in. That may well be vestibular and related to her developmental age? Dunno would have to let us know. At least as far as beam goes, I do think a lot of it is overcoming fear. Although my dd never had issues with the single bhs, she has battled her fear of the bhs/bhs combination repeatedly. Even after they get the skill, it will go away from time to time - to the total frustration of the gymnast! I think the idea behind progressions is to make that fear easier to manage - i.e., on the floor on a line, then on a road beam, then on the low beam, medium beam with mats, etc. So yes I'd say if your dd is doing the bhs on medium beam, she will get it on high beam eventually.

With bars, the same is true. I watched one of my dd's teammates struggle with the giant to layout flyaway all last season. It took repetitions, spotting, pit bar time and more repetitions, spotting, etc. for her to finally feel comfortable with it. She would release too early or too late - in either case causing problems. But I can say she had a gorgeous giant to layout flyaway by the end of the year and was scoring in the 9.6s regularly. Again, I have to think that optional bars - especially at Level 9 and above - are a lot about managing fear but that fear or trepidation or whatever you call it is managed by progressions, spotting and repetition. If you do something often enough, it stops being so scary.

Not sure if that was of any help at all, but yes she will get it eventually!

 

[vagymmomma]

Oh boy, can I relate to some of your pain. I have a 12 yr new L7. During L6 -- that stupid squat-on was the bane of her existence (and her bars have always been fantastic). Thankfully, (knock on wood), we've gotten past that issue. But this year DD had fear issues with the layout flyaway out of giants. It was her first real fear in the sport. She said the speed out of the giants was so much faster, and she was trying to force a slow which just didn't work.

There were two things that worked to get her through that fear -- first (bad momma admission here) - I bribed her with something small she really wanted (we're talking a less than $10 item - seemed like a reasonable return). Second, the same practice I had bribed her (man that sounds awful), her coach told she HAD to do the layout flyaway. There was no question she could do it. Between the two tacts - with a spot -- she did it and was thrilled to death. I really think the two things together made a difference though, because she told me that she had spent the whole morning before her afternoon practice psyching herself up to do it. So when the coach told her to do it, there was no going back. At least with my DD, after the first time the fear burst because she realized it's not that bad.

But every week there seems to be a new challenge. She has the BHS no problem on the high beam. She has a good BWO BHS on the low beam but won't move it to the higher beam because of a little fear and lack of urgency. So you're telling yourself all the right the things. The skills ARE harder. And I understand why they would have fear. If I stop and think about it, I'm not sure I would do some of these things at that age. I hear the growing body can wreak havoc on the mind. We're not there yet, but I'm sure it's coming.

Giants were definitely a step by step progression. 1st - master on strap bar. 2nd - master on single bar. 3rd - get it between the bar. 4th - layout out of giant. 5th - freehip on high bar. 6th - fix the cast into the freehip. All in one summer - pretty amazing. Now she's on clean up which will definitely be a year long effort, but it was done logically one step at a time.

I know what keeps pulling her through is her love of the sport and the desire to continue to get better. I know that once we're through states, she's going to feel the urge to work on higher level skills because she'll want so badly to move up. Stay strong -- it's tough being a gymnast's mom. And she'll get it -- one step at a time.

 

[gymgal]

Mary, we are in the same boat. I have an 11yr old L7 too who is having beam fears. Currently, she has her BHS on high beam, just working on consistently sticking it. But her bwo-bhs has given her a lot of grief. She was doing it with a spot for a long time and all the coaches said there should be no reason she can't do it on her own (high beam, mats stacked up to 1 ft below the beam). Finally, last week she did them without the coach standing beside the beam. Early this week, she made several in a row without a coach. Then the next night she came home saying she kept freezing after the bwo and wouldn't go for the bhs... frustrating for everyone involved. She can do these fine on a floor and low beam. And the high beam she is on has mats stacked up to mirror a low beam, so I just don't get it.

Dunno's thoughts on vestibular is right on the mark. It is tied closely to visual perception, which is why it is easier for these girls to do skills on low bars/beam but not high. It is the perception that that there is more risk. There are very interesting studies about how early this emerges in humans (by the time a child learns to walk, for more kids)

So... I feel your "pain". It is very frustrating watching my child struggle so much on a skill that she physically has but is fearful of the height component. But I can say, after watching her go through several of these fears (BHS on beam, giants, cast HS, LO flyaway, LO fulls) and mastering them gradually with a slow step by step progression, I know it will come. Doesn't make it easy to watch though - which is why I rarely watch practice anymore. I have no idea what to expect at her first meet of the season.

 

[LizzieLac]

Well, it seems like fears hit everyone at some point, to some degree, right? Some are able to move past it faster than others. How/why? So many variables. My DD is just entering the stage of fears, but had managed to get oever the BWO on beam fear and the flyaway bars dismount fear. When they first hit this summer, I wanted to badly to fix it for her - to tell her something that would make it all click and make her "just go for it." It didn't work that way. Someone on here told me to not focus on it or talk about it to much. The extra pressure might make it worse. So, that is what I did and she overcame the fears in her own time.

I do think that the fear issue clicks in around 10 years and up. The younger ones just seem to have a fearless approach, like they don't know any better. Is it vestibular all the time? I think it is also more experiences, more advanced knowledge and imagination, more sophisticated thinking.

 

[GymBeeMom]

Not sure its just the older ones. My dd is struggling too. Beautiful BHS and BHS BHS on middle beam, scared to death of it on high beam. She is 8 and has had to get through several fears along the way. I think they know the higher they are, the harder they will fall. I am trying to let it go and not ask everyday if she did it on high beam but I would love to see her just go for it. I assume she will get through this like she has every other fear- in her own time. SHe is also working through yurchenko fear. Not scared to do it on stacked mats but the vault table is another story...

 

[wallinbl]

I've been trying to tell DD to trust her coaches because as the skills have increased in difficulty, she spends more time with an anxious/nervous grin on her face while they're trying to get her to do something. She caves and does it, but it did somewhat surprise me when I started noticing her doing it.

 

[MaryA]

Well, I did ask her how she wants to celebrate when she gets her BHS on high beam and she said that she wants to go out for Mexican food with her two best gym buddies... Works for me! Yum! Actually, originally it was frozen yogurt, but as the months went by and the weather got colder, it shifted to Mexican food. Also, tonight her HC told her that she had to have it by the end of the month if she wants to compete beam at the first meet (weekend before Thanksgiving). She was state champion on beam at States last year so she really doesn't want to scratch beam. So she did it without a spot on the middle beam tonight. Woo hoo! Actually, she had it on middle beam at the end of the summer, but then we went on vacation (less than a week!) and it went away. But it does sound like the HC has lit a bit of a fire under her butt.

Thanks for telling me all the things I need to hear. It's normal. She'll get it. Those are all the things I say when someone posts a question like this, but sometimes I need to hear it too!

 

[JessLW]

Sounds like she's making some progress this week!

Honestly, the beam is just scary. When I was a gymnast the BHS was a huge fear of mine. Taking it to the beam was then yet another huge fear! That thing is high up! And I think with the BHS on the beam, it is one of the first skills where you can sort of picture things going horribly wrong (my hands will slip! I'll land on my head!), and especially if you're a bit older you can psych yourself out very easily. It sounds like the coach really believes in your DD though and knows how to push her to get over it, so hopefully it will come.

And yeah, unfortunately the skills do get scarier and scarier, although for some kids once they get over certain hurdles (like backwards flight on the beam) the fears are not bad as in they were initially. I won't lie though, I was a bit older, like your DD, and fear combined with high school and the need for a social life eventually led me to quit gymnastics. So it is a valid concern, but all you can really do is take it a day at a time. At this point she's still enjoying it and has a good attitude despite the fears, so hopefully this is just a passing thing.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My 11-year-old level 7 is struggling with some fears. Specifically her BHS on high beam (it's beautiful and consistant on low beam) and bars (bars in general, giants and lay-out fly-aways in particular). She has a great attitude about it, always comes out of practice happy, coach says she's a hard worker. I guess I just need some of those warm, comforting posts that I always leave when someone starts a "when will Suzie start kipping?" thread.

I don't need suggestions on how to help her with her back handspring or whatever, because I do trust her coaches, and would never feel qualified to make suggestions to her or (especially) her coach... "Well, this coach on Chalk Bucket told me you should try..." I try not to mention it to DD at all. Celebrate the successes and otherwise just be generally supportive. I have vowed not to use the words "squat on" with my daughter even once this season (the bain of her level 5 and level 6 existance, and then she missed it at the mock meet a couple of weeks ago... ugh!).

I do "know" she will get it (the logical part of my brain knows this). She always does. But is it all about overcoming fear from here on out? Is that what optionals is? Just overcoming one fear after another? Is it because she's older (my over-the-hill 11-year-old) or because she's approaching puberty and her body is changing? Will things get easier (less scary) again, or is this just the reality of gymnastics, from here on out? And if so, WHY IS THIS FUN????

I know Dunno's go-to reason is "it's vestibular" but if you can do a skill on the low bar but not the high bar, it can't be vestibular, can it? The giants could be, I guess. But she has a beautiful lay-out on floor, and a perfectly respectable tucked fly-away, so I wouldn't think that the lay-out fly-away would be vestibular either. Just scary.

Thanks in advance...

yes, it can be. kinda like driving on a wide open highway and then going in to a tunnel. know the feeling? then couple that with keeping your legs straight on a layout when the kids then sense if they make 1 little mistake or hold on just a moment longer than required...BOOM...i hit my legs on the bar. so then, there are actually 2 things going on at the same time. and it will come in time.

 

[Flossyduck]

Well you already know all the things you should be thinking and saying, but I know that doesn't help when it's your own child. Gymnastics seems to be a series of peaks and troughs with periods of struggle and frustration and then that breakthrough when they get to feel all floaty light! Try not to see it as constantly overcoming fears and more about constantly striving towards goals - all good stuff!

I don't have anything else to add which hasn't already been said, but you are obviously being very supportive. In the end that's all you can do and then this forum is here when it gets a bit much!

 

[my4buffaloes]

Well I could have written this post Mary! My dd is struggling with the same skills and fears. It is hard to watch for sure. I have been wondering if her love of the sport will be able to pull her through the dangers and fears of the sport. Only time will tell. First meet is in less than 2 months and she is nowhere near a bar routine. It is so frustrating! I'm glad she isn't the only one struggling, but would really like it if she could make some progress soon.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Mary, I can TOTALLY feel your pain! Alex has struggled with fears for a few years now. I KNOW she can do the skills, and has done them many times in the past.... heck she even competed giants in the spring. Now will not do them on the high bar to save her soul (afraid of hitting her feet on the low bar). The BHS on beam has been an ongoing fear for well, forever! She will do them on the low beam all day, but raise it even 1 inch and forget about it!! Luckily she has not had any issues with the lay-out flyaway! Go figure! I also don't think that for Alex it is vestibular but more that she is just scared!

I just keep telling myself that she will get past it! Some days I really do believe it!! lol!

My DD is also a bit older (turned 13 yesterday....Lord help me!!) and she has grown 3 inches in the past year!

 

[gymmomof1]

Eventually over time she will get it you are right. All kids are different amnd so is the timing and comfort level of getting skills.
My DD was 12 yrs old at level 7 and struggled with giants for 3 consistant years(2 at 7 one year at 8) mastered them each year!!

Once they hit pre puberty tween type age they grow a bit and realize they are not invincable it does affect their gymnastics. Just give her hugs ans support and if she want something to read or if you do go to Doc Ali's web page (www.headgames.ws) she is fabulous. DD has done her web camp I highly reccomend it it gave her skills she needed to over come her fears sucessfully.

Optionals is a different ball game from hereon out I am sorry to say. Most days the joys of going to a meet to see your daughter overcome her fears and have sucess is where it is all at. . Medals are just cing on the cake so to speak. Dont get me wrong they will have sucess but you are just pruod they can do what they struggled with. A mom of a Level 9 put it well on here when she said I am happy to go home with 4 events done and no inuries!!

Many days I am unsure why they love it so but they all do and my DD has had struggles but i guess life is that way and she has learned to conquer her fears!!

Good luck to you and your DD it will be ok hang tough!![/QUOTE

I so agree with you! It really is a different feeling as the skills get harder. As for the BHS on beam-all I can say is that it is my gymmies least favorite skill and every day she states "I'm scared-really" and I say "what does Doc Ali say when you feel like this with a skill" and she goes through the steps and does it so for her Doc Ali works. I too wonder how this is fun but she really enjoys the flipping and her teammates are her best friends so I pray and be supportive. Lol I also come here for my sanity and support. Just keep encouraging her and see where the road goes

 

[MaryA]

I think about the Doc Ali thing, but, first of all, when would she have time to do it? Second of all, I'm afraid that giving her something like that would be being pushy... You know? Like me meddling in her gymnastics. I did put Doc Ali's audio thing (guided meditation or whatever it is) on my mp3 player and DD never seemed that interested in listening to it.

 

[LizzieLac]

I think about the Doc Ali thing, but, first of all, when would she have time to do it? Second of all, I'm afraid that giving her something like that would be being pushy... You know? Like me meddling in her gymnastics. I did put Doc Ali's audio thing (guided meditation or whatever it is) on my mp3 player and DD never seemed that interested in listening to it.

I printed a couple of Doc Ali articles on "self-talk" and fears over the summer when the BWO on beam fear started for DD. We looked at them together and I tried summarizing some of it for her to get her talking. She was fairly resistant. I gave the printouts and she had them on her bedside table for a while, telling me she was going to read them at night when she went to bed. I am pretty she leafed through one of them once and that was it!

I finally concluded that even though I wanted to help and thought that maybe I could, she had to overcome this and deal with it in her own way. But I have to say, I never could quite understand why she wouldn't let me help. She confides in me all the time.

 

[gymgal]

I printed a couple of Doc Ali articles on "self-talk" and fears over the summer when the BWO on beam fear started for DD. We looked at them together and I tried summarizing some of it for her to get her talking. She was fairly resistant. I gave the printouts and she had them on her bedside table for a while, telling me she was going to read them at night when she went to bed. I am pretty she leafed through one of them once and that was it!

I finally concluded that even though I wanted to help and thought that maybe I could, she had to overcome this and deal with it in her own way. But I have to say, I never could quite understand why she wouldn't let me help. She confides in me all the time.

I has a similar reaction when I offered Doc Ali. I actually went ahead and bought the mp3s and a workbook last year for some other fears. She still hasn't done anything with it. I realized at that point that I was pushing too much and that she has to want to change and has to figure out how to best do it for her....

 

[MaryA]

BTW, BHS on medium beam attained on Thursday, lost on Friday. Heavy sigh. I did print out one of Doc Ali's articles on mental blocks. It was interesting because it started out with a story about a girl who lost her giants, and she said the same thing DD tells me about her BHS... She didn't feel scared... She just couldn't make herself do it. But in spite of that, not much interest shown in the article on DD's part... read it and then recycled it. Oh well. She'll get it someday.

 

[Natasha]

I feel your pain! Hang in there. She will get it. My dd had to "get" her BHS on beam last year 4 times after coming back from injuries and loosing it....it was a frustrating summer and fall! This year it was giants and the BHS series. I had once suggested Doc Ali to her as well, but she wasn't receptive at all and I too discovered that it was just something she needed to work through. Last week was good though, she finally did her Clear hip HS-giant-giant by herself! She had not been even attempting giants by herself after nearly coming off the bar (a coach saved her when spotting her) about 3 months ago. She will get it and it makes it all that much of a bigger accomplishment! Maybe that is the "fun" part that keeps them in it. And yes, I do agree that optionals is much more about dealing with fears than compulsories.