Parents Huge time conflict

[Mom2-4]

So I have a big problem. We have a nieces wedding coming up. RSVP'd for months ago. It's 4 hours away. Just found out today that HC scheduled choreographer for the same weekend. She says she absolutely cannot change it. I don't know what to do. What I can see is no new choreography this year. Send my DH and other children and don't go. Or possibly find another choreographer. Which I don't think HC will go for. She is usually pretty flexible. I haven't even gotten to DD trying out for Middle school volleyball yet. I am waiting to hear if she makes the team on Friday. I am not sure whether to dig in on this one or not. I am pretty stressed over it. I guess I am afraid that since DD just made L7 coach will be fed up and change her mind.

 

[OzZee]

What times? Days?
Would it be possible to take say first slot with the choreographer Saturday morning and then go to the wedding even if it meant missing the ceremony and arriving in time for the reception?
Does she have a current routine she is happy with that she could just upgrade skill wise?

 

[Mom2-4]

What times? Days?
Would it be possible to take say first slot with the choreographer Saturday morning and then go to the wedding even if it meant missing the ceremony and arriving in time for the reception?
Does she have a current routine she is happy with that she could just upgrade skill wise?

Time is 3 hours on sat and 1.5 Sunday. The sat time starts at same time as the wedding. And of course the wedding is 4 hours Away. Yes she does have a routine from 6 that she could use with upgrades. But this would be the 3rd year and she was looking so forward to a new one.

 

[strawberries]

Can she have the Sunday time slot, and be a fast learner?

 

[MILgymFAM]

Do you have a trustworthy adult that could watch/transport your DD while the rest of you do the wedding thing?

 

[Mom2-4]

Can she have the Sunday time slot, and be a fast learner?

Maybe we could expand the Sunday slot another hour or so. I think it is scheduled for 9 am though so 5 am up time.

 

[Mom2-4]

Do you have a trustworthy adult that could watch/transport your DD while the rest of you do the wedding thing?

I do. No pun intended. I just feel bad that she misses the whole weekend. I even suggested that we do some fun Mom and daughter stuff on our own. This is really the first time this big of a conflict has happened.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I do. No pun intended. I just feel bad that she misses the whole weekend. I even suggested that we do some fun Mom and daughter stuff on our own. This is really the first time this big of a conflict has happened.

Ah, I got it. I hadn't realized that it was an overnight thing. I would feel bad too, but no reason for guilt if you leave the choice up to your DD.

 

[MaryA]

What does the coach say other than that she can't change the dates? It seems like if you said, "We RSVPed to this wedding long before you set these dates" she would have something to say. It's not like she's missing to get her nails done or something. It seems like the coach would suggest an alternate choreographer or something.

Will it cause hard feelings with your family if she misses the wedding? What does your daughter want to do?

I'd say driving back late Saturday or early Sunday is your only opportunity to have your (wedding) cake and eat it too. No, it won't be fun, but how many un-fun things have you had to do already to support your daughter's gymnastics? I'm guessing plenty!

 

[txgymfan]

I would try to do both. If you can go to the wedding on Saturday choreography on Sunday, or talk to the coach, explain the family wedding and ask about another local choreographer. Family is so important and family weddings include pictures that people will keep forever.

I just can't imagine missing my niece's wedding, nothing would keep me and my family from it.

 

[strawberries]

Weddings are a big deal. She'll remember it 10 years from now. If I had to do it, I'd pick he 5am option, and take a nap later. I feel like we leave at 5 am for half our meets anyhow.

The routines we've had choreographed never took over 2 hrs, and I always videoed in case DD forgot something. Also the gyms we've been at, the parent scheduled the times for choreography, just like we would for a private lesson. It is odd to have your coach in the middle.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I would definitely approach it with the "Is there anything that be done to have it all on sunday so that she can go to this wedding?"
Good luck! We've only had small conflicts so far, I'm dreading big ones...

 

[profmom]

If it works as it does in our gym, the choreographer is doing multiple routines during the visit. You just need to communicate with the coach to try to get the first or last slot. It will make things harried, to be sure, but you should be able to make it work. At least you aren't flying on non-refundable airline tickets!

(And at DD's gym, the choreography appointments are run entirely through the coaching staff, so there's not a lot of direct back and forth between us and the choreographer until she meets the gymnast.)

 

[Mom2-4]

If it works as it does in our gym, the choreographer is doing multiple routines during the visit. You just need to communicate with the coach to try to get the first or last slot. It will make things harried, to be sure, but you should be able to make it work. At least you aren't flying on non-refundable airline tickets!

(And at DD's gym, the choreography appointments are run entirely through the coaching staff, so there's not a lot of direct back and forth between us and the choreographer until she meets the gymnast.)

That's how it works at our gym also. Everything is set up by the coach.

 

[Mom2-4]

I would definitely approach it with the "Is there anything that be done to have it all on sunday so that she can go to this wedding?"
Good luck! We've only had small conflicts so far, I'm dreading big ones...

Just texted her that request. Awaiting reply. Fingers crossed.

 

[bookworm]

I wouldn't miss the wedding, period...it's not like she's getting choreography for the Olympics, she's level 7...even if she had to have the same routine with upgrades versus missing the wedding for a choreographer? I wouldn't do it...like others have said, she's not getting her nails done, she's attending a big family function 4 hours away. I wouldn't even waver on whether or not she would be there on the day of the wedding because to me , missing my niece's wedding would be non-negotiable.

 

[Gym Beam]

I wouldn't even waver on whether or not she would be there on the day of the wedding because to me , missing my niece's wedding would be non-negotiable.

I agree with bookworm. Life events trump gymnastics. If she were to miss States or Regionals, I might waver a bit, but it's her cousin's wedding.

 

[Mom2-4]

Just got a text back. HC says she is working on it. She will let me know soon.

 

[Mom2-4]

So some compromise on the issue. The 1.5 hour day will still be Sunday. So 4 hour drive at 5am. The 3 hour session will be the following Sat. So sigh, better than nothing. We will still have to take 2 cars or get all 4 kids and hubby up @ 5 am. I think leaving in the am will be fine DD can sleep in the car.

 

[GymAuntie]

I do. No pun intended. I just feel bad that she misses the whole weekend. I even suggested that we do some fun Mom and daughter stuff on our own. This is really the first time this big of a conflict has happened.

Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn but it sounds like you want her at the wedding more than she needs to be there. You've already said you have a responsible adult to get her to gym while you and the rest of the family go to the wedding. Then you have added several "but....." as to why YOU don't want to do it.

I'm still learning, but from what I can tell here gymnastics will have to come before many other things. So you go to the wedding without her and you can't get mommy/daughter mani/pedis. Big freaking deal. The up side is your family stays in good graces with the coach and gym and your daughter gets the new routine she desperately wants.

I've read nothing beyond the post I quoted. Your saying this prompted me to interject my thoughts. I think you're looking for reasons not to make this work which makes me wonder how you'll handle the next conflict and beyond because you know they will come. All sports require sacrifice, and honestly your daughter missing a much older cousin's wedding seems like a minimal one. If she were in the wedding party, I MIGHT feel differently, but this is the first of many big tests for you in the gym world. How you react to it will set a precedent to how people at the gym think you view gymnastics. The question is do you want them to see you as all-in or apathetic? This is no way life or death, but apathetic parents can hurt athletes in the future.