Slapping and mockery from a coach?

[gymmomntc2e6]

you NEED to tell your mom. if that scares you, ask her to read your post. His behavior is not going to change. you don't deserve to be treated that way,pretty sure your parents would agree.

you need to get out of that situation. he is a bully, plain & simple.

 

[gymgal]

you NEED to tell your mom. if that scares you, ask her to read your post. His behavior is not going to change. you don't deserve to be treated that way,pretty sure your parents would agree.

you need to get out of that situation. he is a bully, plain & simple.

I totally agree with this. if you can't talk to your mom about this then print this entire thread for her to read. Sometimes we, as parents, just don't get the seriousness of a situation because we are used to dealing with the "drama" issues of raising a girl (no offense meant here - Most of us are moms here and we all went through the drama phase growing up too). So this may be playing a part here - you're mom thinking you're overreacting. But everything you have written about this coach speaks to how inappropriate this situation is for any gymnast. I know it's a tough situation for you, especially after just paying for a new leo and all. But you NEED TO GET OUT NOW! Even if it means you take some time off and let your mother cool down a little then approach her again. Or if you go to another gym but not compete that year (so no additional expenses). There are options. but first you have to get your mother to see what is going on... Does she ever watch practices? Does she see what you are talking about? If she does and thinks it's OK then we have a completely different problem here...

 

[jcs]

No amount of money for a competition leo is worth being abused for. You have already said yourself that his coach is manipulative. He has convinced you that he is your only option, that no one else will have you, you aren't worth it, that you can't do these skills and aren't worth trying for. That is what people who are abusive do without you even realizing it.

You are worth it. I would suspect that with a new coach and better situation those vaults and your tumbling will come faster than you think since the situation is what you fear, not the actual event or skill.

Definitely talk to your parents. And if your parents won't listen, talk to another trusted adult who can talk to them for you. Yeah, there might be some drama if you have to go that route but if your parents aren't willing to listen that you are being abused someone needs to intervene.

 

[jenniffir]

I totally agree with this. if you can't talk to your mom about this then print this entire thread for her to read. Sometimes we, as parents, just don't get the seriousness of a situation because we are used to dealing with the "drama" issues of raising a girl (no offense meant here - Most of us are moms here and we all went through the drama phase growing up too). So this may be playing a part here - you're mom thinking you're overreacting. But everything you have written about this coach speaks to how inappropriate this situation is for any gymnast. I know it's a tough situation for you, especially after just paying for a new leo and all. But you NEED TO GET OUT NOW! Even if it means you take some time off and let your mother cool down a little then approach her again. Or if you go to another gym but not compete that year (so no additional expenses). There are options. but first you have to get your mother to see what is going on... Does she ever watch practices? Does she see what you are talking about? If she does and thinks it's OK then we have a completely different problem here...

My mom doesn't watch the practices, she owns her own cabnitry business and has to be a manager 24/7. Now that i think of it she hasn't even stepped foot in the gym for a while, she drops me and my friend off and then her mom picks us up. After hearing all that you parents have said i will talk to my mom about this. I have a week before the problamatic coach comes back and this week we will be working with my ex coach who is currently an amazing gymnast.

Thanks everyone for the advice

 

[CoachGoofy]

Besides, if i went to tryout a gym i wouldnt be able to do anything, I mean im trying to go level 7 but who would take a gymnast who couldnt vault or tumble who thinks she could be a lv 7?

My gym would. We've seen quite a few kids who couldn't handle the pressure at other gyms thrive at ours. I don't know if there's a low pressure option in your area, but there's sure to be a nonabusive one.

Please, please, PLEASE tell your mom what's going on. Or tell a trusted adult who will talk to your mom if that's too scary. The way this man treats you isn't just going to have effects on your gymnastics-tearing down your confidence can have all kinds of effects on your whole life & how you feel about yourself in other areas. DON'T LET HIM DO THAT. You deserve better.

 

[cher062]

Dunno you are right on track. Find a new gym and let them know exactly why you feel the need to do this. Maybe then the owner will get that this is not OK!!

Your question to yourself - would you treat your child like this to teach them how to do something - If not then why are you letting someone else do it?

Take a little time and look at all your options to find the best fit for you and your child.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

just checking back to see if you spoke with your mom. i know this whole situation is so hard. wishing you the best.

 

[bornforbars]

Personally, as a gymnast, I would leave the bar area and go talk to one of the other coaches or my parents. That is absolutely rediculous and should not be tolerated by anybody. Sometimes, our coaches do "hit" our elbows or knees if they are bent, but it never hurts. It is honestly more of a touch than anything else. We also have one coach that is nine monthes pregnant, and she loves her pool noodle that she carries around and pokes us with until we correct our form. We are a group of teenagers, so we understand why we get tapped. But saying this to a level four who is probably eight? I would leave the gym immediately.

 

[Blazing15]

I am truly hoping that you talked to your mom. No matter how hard it is. Me as a parent and one that is not in the gym anymore would really hate to hear of something like that happening to my daughter. That is unacceptable and very wrong. No way would I keep my daughter in a gym that did that. And as far as your mom saying it's only this gym I bet she will rethink that when she knows what is going on. She is not going to want you going through abuse. Also don't count out the other gyms yet on not wanting you. You can talk to them and tell them your situation and I am most definitely sure that they will work with you and not turn you away.

 

[gymdog]

I have a week before the problamatic coach comes back and this week we will be working with my ex coach who is currently an amazing gymnast.

Could you talk to this coach about the situation?

 

[peace.love.gymnast]

I believe I would leave...Immediately!! There is absolutely NO excuse for his behavior!! As a coach, I would NEVER do such things to a student...or anyone for that matter! Coaches like that are what make some very talented gymnasts quit the sport for good...very sad in my opinion. How could any coach think that's ok? Children are not going to respond (positively anyway), to a coach who is yelling & slapping them. You can't gain trust & respect that way; it's just plain fear of the coach that's pushing them @ that point. I firmly believe there is a healthy, productive way to push a gymnast to get good results. Every child is different, but doubtful that any will respond to that method of coaching!

 

[Mack_the_Ripper]

I don't think that this is what's happening here, but sometimes a tap on the leg helps to physically remind the gymnast to keep good form and to be aware of where their body is. This would, of course, be a light tap and not repeated like it seems Paul is doing. Insistent tapping, poking, or hitting does nothing, and Paul's verbal insults are not necessary, especially with a young and low-level group of gymnasts.