WAG Big mess before state meet this weekend:(

[sce]

Sad that a bunch of adult egos are getting in the way of a kid and her enjoyment of the sport. They should not have treated her this way and they should not be so threatened by coach #3.

I really hope she can enjoy her meet this evening.

 

[sewgood]

I would tell HC that he is welcome to work on trust and rebuilding their relationship during the off season. But for the meet this weekend, C3 needs to be there because HE has destroyed the trust between him and your daughter. If he throws a fit about C3 being there, then DD scratches from bars, period. I know your daughter will probably have a fit about that (mine would, for sure, and she's the same age as your DD), but IMO, Mama Bear needs to come out. The only way she is going to feel safe and confident flying around on those bars is if C3 is there. I would just tell her that you are sorry the situation has come to this through no fault of hers, but at this point her safety is of the greatest concern to you and you won't let her risk a probable injury because an adult has his head up his butt (okay, you might want to figure out a better way to say that).

But, yeah, at this point, I would be telling both HC and DD, that either C3 comes, or she's scratching bars. A concussion, broken bone, torn tendon, whatever is NOT worth an L7 routine or an L7 AA score. It's just not.

 

[MabelSt]

Wow I have zero sympathy or understanding for a grown man putting his ego before somehing that would help your dd after he hurt her. hc 3 is a grown woman she can stand up for herself. I'd stand up for dd and say at this point today she needs hc 3 and that is it- actually caring about her as a person abd responding to her needs would be a great way to start to rebuild trust.

 

[MabelSt]

Plus trust is earned!!! he destroyed her trust in him and its on him to earn it back

 

[auswi]

Wow- I haven't anything more to add but sending you guys virtual hugs!!

 

[profmom]

Do whatever will help your DD get through this meet with a minimum of stress and drama. If that's scratching bars, instruct them to scratch her. If it's having her compete and just lowering the stakes for her as much as possible, do that. It may mean not entering into a high stakes battle over coaching personnel now. Just get her through today, but promise her that you'll sort this out.

I hope she winds up happy at the end of the day.

 

[Sari]

Read through all of this earlier today. Been sending positive vibes your way. Poor girl! Hope you can get this sorted out somehow - or switch gyms. Anything to make your DD feel better. Coaches shouldn't behave like that in any situation!

 

[MabelSt]

Yeah I wouldn't make anything a battle either, but I dont agree that you should defer to him or walk on eggshells to not upset him.

 

[Amber]

So meet is done. DD was hesitant getting into her meet attire. Only HC and HC#2 were there. Beam, floor, and vault were so so- 9.1s for each. But DD was taking deep breaths and keeping a smile on her face.
Bar warmup didn't really happen. Rips were killing DD, even though we tried every recipe in the book to fix them! I was very worried because HC#2 was hovering around her at bars (this is the one who never apologized). She didn't scratch though. She tried really hard. She didn't get around on her giant....but got right back up and finished with a tucked flyaway (norm is a layout flyaway) 8.00. Her lowest score in 4 years. So a 35 AA. Bottom of the pack at AA. But she had a smile on her face at awards. And true to her good character, she thanked and hugged HC.

So her bars went from a 9.3-9.5 to an 8.0. If she got her normal score, she would have been 1st AA. But her attitude makes her a winner, and I couldn't be prouder!

 

[my4buffaloes]

I think she is a winner for sure. She had the fight of her life this week to even compete bars. To get up there and do it - and fall and get back up again - shows huge maturity. You should be so darn proud of that 8.0! And her coaches should too.

 

[flippingtogether]

Your girl is strong and amazing. It might not seem it now, but this will be an important lesson in the bigger picture of life, and like everyone is saying, it will make her so much stronger and teach her she can overcome the most adverse of situations. Wow, to learn that at such a young age.....think of it as a crazy awful gift!

Congrats to you as a parent for getting through the week and this meet - I would have been a basket case. And good luck with the next steps as you continue to sort thru this mess and turn this situation into a positive next step, whatever that will be. I have full confidence you will figure out the best next steps for your DD.

The adventures of life......and of the crazy sport of gymnastics!!

 

[Amber]

Thank you! DD really showed her strength, now I have to show mine. Told HC DD would be taking a long, well deserved break and would come back when she's ready. HC seemed to accept this. I will definitely be speaking to HC#2 about coaching methods. So glad this horrible, soul draining week is over!

 

[Teezi]

Thoses scores are amazing considering the circumstances! I think she should be more then proud of her self!

 

[windydays]

I'd maybe send an email or text to HC about C3. Humbly acknowledge HC concern, but state that YOU feel that if HC allows C3 to come, it would show your DD that HC is willing to give her what she needs to succeed. It would be a step in the right direction to rebuild their relationship.

Love this!! Yep, it is supposed to be about the gymnast, right? It's not supposed to be about ego!

 

[MabelSt]

Thats great that she kept going- that's really what's important, and I think it's great shes taking a break. I don't really get why it shows good character to say thanks and hug someone who basically verbally abused her while in a poition of power. I think that shows that shes being taught to accept whatever treatment people give her and not being taught to set healthy boundaries and not allow people to belittle her. I'm not trying to be rude but it bothers me.

 

[bogwoppit]

Run far from that gym. Train your kid that abuse is okay and they are set for life, and not in a good way.

The hugging the HC actually creeped me out.

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

^^^^^^^ Totally agree with Bog, run very fast away from that gym. I know you said previously that your daughter didn't want to leave, and I understand that, but sometimes as parents we have to make tough decisions for our kids for their long term benefit. Your dd will miss her old gym buddies, but she will make new ones. Better to go through some short term pain than years of emotional and mental abuse.

 

[Sari]

An 8.0 under those circumstances? Your DD is my hero!
But yeah, I don't think I'd stay at that gym. Once abuse has been classified in a person's mind as something to be accepted, the road back is very bumpy.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

Perhaps a snark thank you card is warranted if you leave 'Thanks HC#2, if you hadn't pushed me so hard prior to states I would have ended up with another worthless/not good enough 9.4 on bars, so glad you pushed me to make sure that didn't happen!'

 

[Amber]

HC really did admit wrongdoing, apologized profusely, and tried to make up with DD. She was very encouraging to DD during meet. I feel that she still needs to clarify her coaching to me, because I'm still uneasy about the situation.

HC #2 is the issue. The stuff said from this one was WAY over the line. More so than what HC said. This coach never apologized, just ignored DD. This coach hovered around DD whole meet. I'm surprised DD could attempt bars with this one around.

Doesn't surprise me DD hugged HC. She asked DDs forgiveness multiple times. DD turned the other cheek and forgave her. She's a better person than me.

Will we stay at this gym. I don't know. I'm taking my own break for the next week to figure that out. It may not be logistically feasible. But I will protect DD.